LIFE AND LIVING OF RADHIKA AND KRISN

LIFE AND LIVING OF

RADHIKA AND KRISN

(A True Story of Love and Passion)

Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad 

Krisn was born in a small village of Botini in the western districts of Fiji in December of 1939 during the time when the world was at war and the people were living in fear as well as uncertain future.

The parents of Krisn were Bhagat and Kunti who were fairly famous farmers of the district and were living on a large farm of Sarju Residence in an extended family structure. They had worked hard to establish themselves as a respectable and well-known family with the main objective of becoming worthy and responsible citizens of the nation. They all wanted to contribute well to live and let others live in harmony in a multinational community.

The own parents of Bagat were Sarju and Ganga who had been brought as indentured workers by the Australian Company that owned various sugar mills and sugarcane estates all over the western districts of Fiji. They became free farmers after their indenture contract expired.

The birth of the first child of the family was not easy and while the grandmother of Krisn Ganga acted as a midwife, his mother Kunti passed away after Krisn was born because of complications and absence of medical assistance. Grandmother Ganga and aunt Ramila had no choice but to become alternative mothers to Krisn.

Bhagat was distraught at the lost of his wife but he was fortunate to have Krisn as the only relict. Although Bhagat was a busy farmer he made certain that Krisn grew up in perfect harmony and in good care with excellent upbringing atmosphere. Consequently Bhagat secured the services of an additional child care assistant from the village called Radhika.  Krisn had lost his mother but he was blessed to have the care, attention, love and affection of three people. So he was three times blessed in many respects of growing up and upbringing.

Radhika whose parents agreed her to be the third caretaker of Krisn was the eldest of the four daughter of the village priest Rajbali Maharaj and his wife Yashoda. They lived with their family across the creek from Sarju Residence. Radhika was a healthy being, a well-groomed child and a positive thinker with precise and in-depth knowledge of the Hindu scriptures because her father and mother regularly conducted prayers and recited ideas from the Vedas, Upnishads and other holy books such as the Bhagvat Geeta, Mahabharat and Ramayan.

So all the family members at Sarju Residence were greatly indebted to the priest Rajbali Maharaj and his wife Yashoda for the sacrifice they had made to let their daughter Radhika join them to care for Krisn. Radhika was an excellent eight year old student of the nearby primary school when she joined her new family to care for Krisn. In the day time she would be at school but loved to be with Krisn after school. She slept with the boy and continued caring for Krisn at night.

In fact, Radhika herself was overwhelmed with the thought of having a living doll such as Krisn to play and interact with. Krisn was a chubby baby with the fortune of having three mothers and each of these mothers was so dedicated, loving and compassionate that Krisn never missed his natural mother.

As time moved on and Krisn was growing up, Radhika would readto him from various scriptures and sing devotional songs as lullaby for him. Time flew and by age six Krisn was ready to go to school as well. Radhika was a senior student at the school and was so pleased to get Krisn enrolled there as well because she had the opportunity to boasting about Krisn being her baby.

This assertion and revelation did not make much sense to the teachers and the students initially but soon they understood her deep feeling for the child she had cared for, for the last six years as a substitute mother.  Even at school during recess and lunch times Radhika was seen playing, reading, talking and caring for Krisn. Of course, she walked to and from home daily on the dirt road and made sure that Krisn wore his hat, shoes and clothes in the right way to avoid sunburn, dust inhalation and tiredness.

Such were the deep and genuine concerns of Radhika who had become a true friend, a mentor and an additional guru for Krisn. Krisn on the other hand had developed a special relationship with Radhika and this became a discussion point, a model of social co-existence and a regular talk of the community.

At the end of the year however, Radhika had to leave school because she had completed her primary education and now that Krisn was settled well in school her responsibilities as an alternative mother had to come to an end. The duties that she was recruited for had been accomplished admirably and the baby was now an adolescent doing exceptionally well at school.

Sadly for everybody, Radhika was recalled by her parents to live with them but after school and during weekends Radhika and Krisn continued their pure, pious and sanctified relationship in and around the Sarju Residence and the village parks, orchards, farms and other natural locations. It was during these times when Radhika would joyfully enrich the developing life of Krisn with wisdom, knowledge, talents, skills and spiritual specialities.

Time and tide do not tarry for anyone and the clocks of life keep ticking away as usual. Krisn kept doing well at school and brought home excellent school reports for the delight of the family and specially for Radhika. Krisn was the first student of the village to be successful in the examination of primary school leaving certificate to be gain admission to a prestigious government high school as a boarder.

Radhika was given the responsibility by Bhagat and his family of taking Krisn to his new school and settling him there. This was a special privilege for her and while returning from completing her task Radhika shed tears after tears for the separation of two very special people that had uncontaminated and divine link in life.

Many proposals came to the parents of Radhika to get married but she turned all of them down to say that her duties of building the life of her baby had not been completed yet and she would wait until she was totally satisfied that she had given her Krisn the needed wings to fly and reach for the sky.  Krisn on the other hand would rejuvenate and rekindle his virtuous relationship with Radhika during all his school term holidays.

During these occasions they would visit temples, theatres, markets, shops, libraries and various other places of importance and deepened their sacral and devout interactions and relationships.

At one of these pilgrimages to a Hindu temples where they prayed together constantly Radhika presented Krisn with a plaque with her blessings. Krisn always kept this plaque with him for his personal motivation for ages until it was washed away in one of the furious floods of Fiji but by then Krisn had engraved the message in his mind. See the photo for the image of the plaque.                               

Such were the powers and wisdom of his confidante that Krisn had developed a sincere dedication and deep devotion to his guru mother, Radhika. In another of their sacred meetings Radhika demanded an assurance from Krisn by saying that she did not want him to be the same every time she met him. She wanted him to be better and bolder. These were some of the wise words of Radhika hat made Krisn excel in every possible field of study, in sports, in drama, in discourse and his other high school life.

The four long years of perseverance at high school paid good dividends and Krisn was destined to become a teacher when he was selected to undergo teacher training programme for three years far away from his home and further away from his faithful friend Radhika.

They kept communicating with each other through various means but the methods of interaction were very slow in those days. The first letter that Krisn received from Radhika had these special words among other essential things that ‘a life without love was like a year without seasons’ and ‘all good relationships do not just happen but they take time, patience and two special people who are determined to be together’.

When after a year of hard educational psychology studies Krisn wrote back that he wanted to put his ear on her chest and listen to all the heart beat that dished out wisdom, Radhika wrote back, ‘Dearest Friend Krisn, The time has come for you to close the window of your past and open the door of your future and take a deep breath to pray. Then step on the first step of the ladder of your new life to walk up with faith, trust and commitment yourself to your plans. Start n new chapter in your life right now.’

That was the last written communication that Radhika and Krisn had between them and Krisn could not fathom the rationale for that deviation but years later when he had got married and had a few years of teaching experience to return to his village he took his wife to meet Radhika who still lived in the old shack after her parents had passed away and the other sisters were happily married. Krisn collected enough courage to ask Radhika for the reason to abandon him as her friend and a student.

Radhika gave a very short and sweet answer for her detachment by saying that she wanted her Krisn to grow strong wings and fly out to find his rightful place in the world. Krisn then looked at his wife Rukmani for any possible response but she nodded and acknowledged the words of Radhika. After spending some time together the beloved wife of Krisn asked Radhika the reason for her not to take on a family life.

Radhika looked at the image of the huge mountain range called the Sleeping Giant for a while and then gently held the hand of Rukmani to say, “One day someone will walk into my life and make me feel and see why it never worked out with anyone else.”  This statement was not only loaded, emotive and comprehensive but came out from the depth of her heart. There were many questions that Rukmani wanted to ask Radhika but could not because it became clear to her that all the answers were known to Krisn.

As time moved on, the Sarju Residence was sold and Krisn and Rukmani migrated to Australia with their family only to regularly return to their village to be in the wise and sweet company of Radhika for a few moments. However, these short spells were like a thousand years in their life because of the wisdom that Radhika so lovingly presented to them and the family.

Like any other good adventure the spiritual life of Radhika had to end. She passed away at the age of eighty eight in the retirement home and her sisters gave her the final farewell befitting an Angel like Radhika. Krisn was given the sad news after a week of her passing away by one of cousins of Radhika.

The above story seems a fiction but when the reader substitutes the name of the author for Krisn, the entire episode becomes a true story worth re-reading and taking some aspects of the life and living of Radhika and Krisn as worthy epitome of love, devotion, friendship and divine human interaction.

The epilogue of the author has to be read to complete the story with the dignity it deserves.

                   EPILOGUE

While I was growing up in a little village of Botini in Sabeto Nadi Fiji I had a very reliable confidante, a faithful friend and a virtuous lover by the name of Radhika who was eight years older than I was and more mature in outlook. We were a lot more than friends and related with each other as teacher and student. She was my guide and adviser on various aspects of growing up and life.

There are many worthy and wise teachings she dished out to me while we were interacting freely as village companions. She told me that life without love was monotonous and brought no appreciation of seasons. I kept in touch with her until recently but sadly she passed away last week at the age of eighty four, eight years my senior. Every time I visited my village I made a point of seeing her and renewing my interaction with her at her home where she lived alone.

She never got married because as she explained to my wife that she was waiting for that special relationship. “One day someone would walk into my life and make me see why it never worked out with anyone else.” That never happened for Radhika and she went away unattached. I know that good relationships do not just happen but they take time, patience and two people who want to be together. We were like the two banks of the river never to rejoice harmonious and lasting relationship. Although we had disjointed relationship I was the greatest beneficiary of this eventful and resourceful adventure. My late wife and I admired and loved Radhika’s company and conversations every time we visited her.  I will miss her.

Radhika always wanted me not to be the same but be better every time she saw and met me and I tried to fulfill her wish to make her happy. She loved to listen to my stories of progress in life. She asked me never to wear a fake smile and then you will never be able to fake your feelings.

I walk around like everything is fine but deep down I feel for my true friend, my sakhi, my saheli and my early life confidant. May the divine soul of Radhika Rest In Peace and she reaches salvation.

The worst kind of pain for me is when I am smiling just to stop the eyes from revealing my sorrows. While driving to and from Port Dickson with my children I remembered a few more specific things that Radhika told me when I graduated as a teacher in 1959. She found out that I had just terminated a close relationship with one of my college mates and I was somewhat a broken person. Radhika warned me to be careful when trying to fix a broken person because if I did then I may cut myself on the shattered pieces. So she wanted me to change the way I looked at things, then maybe the things I looked at would change as well. A definite change came to my way of thinking and I have never looked back on my terminated relationship ever since.

So after getting the sad news this morning, I did two things as homage to my mentor. I wrote a short story and then  I developed a poem in Hindi for Radhika to understand my true feelings while she is Resting in Peace in Heaven.

I know that her soul is still here to keep guiding me and providing me with additional wisdom and strength.

 

 

RADHIKA KO PRANAAM KARUN 

Bachpan ki yaden jab aati hain to us saheli ki yaad aa jaati hai

Wo sakhi jo mujhe jeewan ki lahron ke madhur yaad dilaati hai

Radhika uska naam tha aur maan sammaan aur gyan hamko deti rahi

Ghar mein, sadak pe, chaurahe par aur saala mein hamko sikhati rahi

Gaon ke purohit ki beti thi hamse lagbhag aath saal badi thi

Pyar ki saagar thi gyaan ki bhandaar thi wo ek farishta thi

 

Dosti ke us pawitr rishte ko ham dono maante the aur jaante the

Wo hamko apna shishy maanti thi aur ham use guru maante the

Saath saath khelte the padhte the aur apna naam kamaate the

Log hamare paawan dosti ko na jaane kitne naam dete rahte the

Koi Radha Krishn to koi Ram Sabri ka namoona dete rahte the

Meri sakhi hamari wo saheli thi jisko main dilo jaan se chaahta tha

 

Uska izzat aur maan maryaada rakhna mere ragrag mein bara tha

Koi hawas na thi na hi koi swarath tha bas ek pawitr pyar tha

Hamare liye to wo gyan ki dariya thi aur main uska munna tha

Radhika ne hamko jeewan mein aage badhne ka protsahan diya tha

Wo hi mujhe prem, bhakti aur rahen sahen ka sahi illam diya tha

Bachpan beeta jawaani aayi mainto ek saaheb ban gaya tha

 

Par jab jab hamari mulakaat hoti hamko bachpan yaad aata tha

Ham apne madhur yaadon mein kho jaate bada anand aata tha

Radhika ke aachaar vichaar aaj bhi hamko raah dikhati hai

Hamari har ek unnati ki paheli seedhi uski hi gyan ka dhan hai

Kya kya batawoon wo mere liye aur kya thi aur kawn thi

Mere patni aur mere liye Radhika hamare gyan ki mandir thi

 

Kal ki hi baat hai Radhika ka nidhan chauwalis saalon ke baad hua

Mera aatma ro pada par unke kar kamlon se hamko kushi hua

Jab tak yeh jeewan hai ham Radhika ke raahon par chalte rahenge

Unka maan rakkhenge unke sikchha ko apne gale lagayenge

Dhanye hai Radhika aur meri dosti dhanye hai unki dharm karam

Waysi sakhi jisko milegi uski siddh ho jaygi sab dharm karam

 

Jaawo Radhika Ji shayan karo mere aatma ko pulkit karte rahna

Is mann mandir mein aysa jyot jalado seekh jawoon main rahna

Aapne hamko bahut maan diya shaan diya gyan se bhar diya tha

Is param anand ka kya kahna aap ne to mera sammaan kiya tha

Ayse paawan mintrata ka prachaar karun dosti ka maan karun

Radhika ke yash ka gaan karun uske jeewan ko parnaam karun.

 

There is no equivalent translation for the emotions and feelings contained in this poem but the readers can try Google translation.

 

Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad

August 20th 2015

 

Sadly I have no photographs of Radhika because of two reasons. Firstly, while she was my early childhood carer we did not have any camera. Secondly, when later in life we visited her she did not want her photograph to be taken. But she was one of the most beautiful ladies I had ever met in my life, both internally and externally.

 

 The End.

 

MERE BACHCHON KE LIYE MERA SAUGAAT

Mere Bachchon Ke Liye

Jab mere jinde jee aap logo ne kuchh khaas nahi kiya

Tab mere marne ke baad kuchh kiya bhi to vyarth kiya

Mere jinde jee to aap logo ne mera dil bahut khoob  dukhaya

Marne ke baad to sukh se sone do to hoga mera faayeda

Na ham ne aap logo ko samjha na aap log hamko samjhe

Ham chalte rahe apne apne rah par bina soche samjhe

Ab sochta hoon ki agar shaadi na ki hoti to unka dukh na hota

Na hamaare bachche payda hote na unka aysa dhudhkaar mila hota

Hamne to unke parwarish mein koi bhi kami na ki thi

Lekin mere bachchon ne to apni bewafaai dikha di thi

Hamse door rahne ka wajah unka jaayaz hai par achcha nahi lagta

Unke  bachchon se unko yeh jhatka lagta to unko kaysa lagta

Lekin sahan karna mera wasool tha main unka jurm sahata gaya

Marne ke baad mujhe mukti mili par unko bada sukh mil gaya

Hamne to apna sabhi farz nibhaaya par unse aysi ummeed nahi hai

Haanthi ke daant ek khaane ki aur ek dikhane ki hoti hai

Duniya ko ham dikhaa na sakey wo chalchitr jo sab se chhupa tha

Mere bachchon ne hamko jo bhi dukh diya wo unka wafaa tha

Unse mera gila to bahut hai lekin yeh karne se ab fayda hai kya

Jab wo chidiya chug gayi khet tab ab hamko pachhtaana kya

Hamaare bachche aur unke bachchon ke bachche khushi rahen sada

Mera kya hai main jayse bhi jiya theek se jiya yahi tha hamko bada

Ram Lakhan is sansaar ke safar pe tha ab safar pura ho gaya

Ab dubaara ham nahin aayenge us dar se jo ham par gujar gaya

Ab kyun rota hai pagle tere kismat mein yahi likha tha

Jo hona tha so ho gaya vidhaata ne shayad aysa hi chaaha tha

Meri to parmaatma se bas yahi hai dua kisi ko bachche de to ayse de

Jo maataa pitaa ki sewa na kar sakey to unko dukh bhi na de.

Ant mein yeh kah dena uchit samajhta hoon apne Rohitesh ke baare mein

Main apni sesh jeewan sukh mein bita raha hoon uske hi chatr chhaye mein

Aaj mere aaja aaji aur maataa pitaji ki baaten yaad aati hain

Jo jaysa karega waysa bharega yahi is duniya ka dastoor hain

Apne tanhaai mein jab main sochta hoon to bahut dard hota hai

Main ne to kabhi apne purwajon ko bhool kar bhi sataaya nahi hai

Dekh lo is duniya waalo mera bhi kaleja kitna kathor ho gaya hai

Kahne ko rah gaya ki ab ek baap apne hi logo se door ho gaya hai

Kaya karoon haalaat yehi hai mere dharm patni ke chale jaane ke baad

Wo hoti to yeh jeewan sawar jaata aur na bichadte mere teen aulaad

Lekin ganimat hai ki mera chauthe suputra in sab se alag hai

Rohitesh ke siddhant aur wasool bhi sab mujh se milte julte hai

Ab maan liya ki yeh duniya aane jaane ka ek jhamela bana hai

Bachche badey huye to kya huye us se hamko ab kya sulook hai

Ramta jogi hoon bas chaltaa rahunga jab tak meri yeh jindagaani hai.

Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad

July 30th 2015.

 

 

MY PLEASURE AND PAIN

 

THE

THERAPEUTIC TREASURY OF MY FOND MEMORIES

My Pretty Lotus passed away on 14th March 2013 but her fond memories are still fresh in my heart and mind.

A Collection of Fond Memories of My Pretty Lotus

By Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad

 

EPIGRAPH

Just before her departure, My Pretty Lotus, My Saroj, My beloved wife managed to say that from now on she would only dwell in my dreams.

My only wish is that she keeps her promise and I would then assure her that I would find that glorious slumber for life so that I keep dreaming about her forever.

FOREWORD

This is a therapeutical golden treasury of some of my fond memories of my Pretty Lotus, my beloved wife, Saroj Kumari Prasad. I have been creating these as a loving tribute since her passing away on 14th March 2013. This is a collection to grow on and it is also an anthology to grow with for our family members, relatives and friends.

In this collection, I have poured my heart and soul out to remember all the fond memories of a devoted wife, a loving mother and a pleasant grand mother. These creativities will become part of the Prasad Family as long as even one member remembers the fame, glory and presentations of such a fine and perfect personality. This has been a therapeutical and a healing exercise for me.

My readers will have the choice to like, appreciate and laugh at some of the creativities but by and large these present the instinctual love life of a couple who were madly in love with each other for over half a century. Their unconditional love was nowhere near the traditional love stories of Romeo and Juliet or Laila or Majnu and the like but far exceeded the romantic aspects of those lovers. People will invent a new episode of romance after reading the items in the collection to call it the affectionate life of Lakhan and Saroj.

All the items in the collection are meant primarily to be enjoyed and appreciated but there may be some aspects that will inadvertently leave some deep human feelings of love, compassion, loneliness, sadness and sorrow. There are a lot of lessons to learn from our experiences of love.

Enjoyment and appreciation are personal aspects and any creativity that is written in a variety of moods and at many different levels of humanity could provide its own particular pleasure and understanding. The reading in these pages is not very easy because of the emotions that are hidden in the compositions. Many are very personal feelings and emotions that would be difficult to fully comprehend unless the characters were well known by the readers.

I commend people to read and then find out what I mean. The themes, forms, rhythm, rhyme and imagery are all so deep and heartfelt that can bring tears to the human eyes. If these do not move anyone then the deeper meaning of love has not entered that soul yet.


INTRODUCTION 

In the beginning, everyone tells me that there was nothing but joy in the world. Everything was bright, new, peaceful and full of love and affection. The earth and the sky were created and human beings began as children, living in a paradise, which was a cross between a great garden and a divine playground. Every morning and everyday were fresh surprises. Our life began with love in the paradise as well.

My beloved wife told me many times that all beginnings have had the same radiance, the same colour and the same beauty but the different human interactions over the years have either added beauty or spoilt these and polluted our atmosphere. However, she said that unconditional love was still the essence of complete living and heaven is still there for those who believe in living with instinctual love, deep compassion, good understanding and solid empathy for each other.

A good human life can be a happy song and become an echo of the completely happy world but often times we refuse to stay on the given path of humanity and create religious and political indifference thus making our living a real hell instead of a peaceful adventure.

I do not want to paint a picture that Saroj and I were unique but we were serious with our love life and tried our best to understand and appreciate the feelings and attitude of each other.

The result of our interactions can be seen in the pages that have so much to offer for everyone. However, for anyone that feels otherwise can create and add some more to enrich this collection. The Prasad Family is a living example of the dedication that this dedicated angel provided all of them.

I loved creating these presentations and I hope my readers will like reading them and getting something out of the collection. The collection has helped me heal my pain, sorrow and loneliness but this would certainly inspire other poets to join in and create their pieces.

 

 

DEDICATION

 

This collection is written for bilingual appreciation for the family members, relatives and friends. For ease of reading, the Hindi words are presented in English but for non-Hindi speakers, the words may not give the same meaning and sense as the words depict. I am sure help from some member of the Prasad Family can easily solve this problem.

This publication is lovingly dedicated to the eldest child of Chandra Pal Sharma and Lila Wati, who fondly bestowed the pretty name of Saroj Kumari Devi to this angel of the Prasad Family. She was born in Nasinu in Fiji on 15th August 1940. She was thoroughly educated at Dudley House, Nasinu Teachers’ College, University of the South Pacific, Brisbane College of Advanced Education and Queensland University of Technology.

Saroj Kumari Devi was married to Ram Lakhan Prasad on 19th January 1964. She worked as a successful teacher, Head of Department (Languages) in various secondary schools in Fiji, Education Broadcasts Officer for Education Department of Fiji, Senior Lecturer in English at the Colleges of Advanced Education in Nasinu and Lautoka and then retired after working as a Group Leader at a Child Care Centre in Brisbane in 2000.

She was enjoying a happy retirement life with her family when she was suddenly called to Rest in Peace in heaven on 14th March 2013. She was finally farewelled on 16th March 2013 at the Centenary Memorial Gardens in Brisbane.

She enjoyed her family life with her four married children, Praanesh and Ranitta, Praneeta and Shalendra, Harshita and Naresh and Rohitesh and loved to interact with her eight grand children Jaya, Meera, Hamish, Jayden, Anjali, Sonali, Elliott and Charlotte.

I dedicate this publication to her with my fondest love.
Ram Lakhan Prasad 19th January 2015.

LET THE TREASURE UNFOLD
An Ode to My Pretty Lotus, My Saroj on her 74th Birthday.
Just Give Me Your Usual Smile My Dear
The bright light of my love life has gone out
There’s no fun left in life and I’m loosing out
I beseech thee to give me your usual mystic smile
To brighten up my world and walk another mile

Give me your usual smile just once more my dear
It would alter my disposition
It would change my emotion
My life would change altogether
I would have nothing to bother
The flowers would bloom again
The birds would sing once again
Clouds would pour sweet rain
The wind would keep me sane
The stars would twinkle for me
The moon would shine you see
The fairies would dance for me
My life would change you’ll see

Give me your usual smile just once more my dear
My eyes would blink with joy
My lips would talk like a toy
Life would be full of laughter
Nothing to worry me hereafter
All heaven would sing merrily
My image would change surely
The sun would kiss my forehead
To bless me to let me look ahead
I would be sailing to the safer shore
There would be rough storms no more
All my prayers would be answered
All my questions would be treasured

Give me your usual smile just once more my dear
I’m moving like a lonely traveller
All is dark and I have no calendar
Fear of future bothers me everyday
I am afraid I’ve forgotten the highway
My attire and my mind are unsettled
Fear of failure keeps me all rattled
Hiding behind a façade of doubts
I have lost my will for any bouts
My past is haunting me heavily
My future is now uncertain really
All wishes have gone wishy washy
All the thoughts are now bushy 

Give me your usual smile just once more my dear
My life is full of stress and strain
It is turning and twisting in vain
I’m counting the falling stars at night
There is no hope near or any in sight
Fear dwells in my heart of rare pain
It gets worse when it begins to rain
The darker nights give me no hope
I find it harder and harder to cope
There is a strong burn in the heart
It inflicts fire and lets flame to start
These hurt my inside and outside
But I’m unable to leave them aside

Give me your usual smile just once more my dear
You are the bright light of my life
You have been my beloved wife
Let me repeat it once more my dear
You are the music of my life my dear
Let me ask you a simple question my dear
Give me an answer to my question my dear
How do I live my life without you?
What do I do with my life without you?
Why don’t you share your mystic smile?
Let me live well and walk another mile.
Teach me not to worry and learnt to smile
I will love you more and keep your smile
Give me your usual smile just once more my dear.

Your birth on 15th August 1940 was for me alone
Our first meeting on 14th February 1959 was set on stone
Our marriage on 19th January 1964 was a glorious day
Our family life of over fifty years was happy and gay
Your life and living was all full of caring and giving
I am now all lost and lonely and have given up living
Your departure on 14th March 2013 tore my heart apart
I’ve been trying to live but the body dwells without a heart
On your 74th birthday, I wanted to sing and dance
I can’t do these cos you’re not giving me a chance
I will look heavenward to see you smile once more
You’re sitting by the super moon and the stars galore
Give me your usual smile just once more my dear
I’ll sing this ode for you forever without any fear.

Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad
15th August 2014.

Life of Lakhan and Saroj is Different

January nineteenth 2014 brought me many fond memories of the past
Fifty years ago, Saroj and I wedded this day with a big bang and blast
Today is that time again to rewind and ponder about the glorious past
This has brought me to think of the day I said my vow and "I do” at last

My fifty golden years is a time I have well cherished with a lot of joy
We kept our relationship alive without a blemish like a special toy
All the rewarding years that we spent together side by side happily
Makes this special Golden Day rejuvenate and come alive joyfully

Each year had given us multiple fond memories to share and care
We loved our dreams that we made come true with a lot to spare
All these have given our relationship the greatest strength to share
This day would have been super happy if she did not go else where

Just before we could reach this milestone in our life, she departed
I was all distraught, sorrowful and lonely and left broken-hearted
Sharing fifty years of memories was worth an immense treasure
We had planned a celebration but my sorrow ended all pleasure

All the tears this lonely life has now brought in the way for me
All the joy that wouldn’t have known any bound has jolted me
Now I have no choice but to reflect on each and every year one by one
To further strengthen our bond despite the fact that she is gone

As each day is now passing slowly but steadily I think of the past
All the treasured gifts that she had given me are here till the last
My future ride of life is all confusing because my guide is no more
I feel lost and disoriented in the rough sea with no sight of shore

Our partnership that had crossed fifty milestones is rare to find
Our love and living was full of fun we knew it was one of its kind
Our love life teaches others to value all relationships with pride
Family life is an open book and there should be nothing to hide

My Pretty Lotus and I gave each other a strong feeling of love
We enjoyed our life so much that we acted like our garden dove
No storm, no current or rough weather could weaken our move
No ravages of time to tarnish our love we had nothing to prove

So even after the fifty years we behaved like each other's dove
Our relationship will never feel out-dated or old we are in love
Since our love was always blessed with a touch of Almighty God
Our affection for one another gave us happy time with the Lord

Friends say that fifty years of togetherness earned us the fame
Of being the Golden couple and for sticking together by the game

For half a century is a very long time walking along side by side
I feel that has made our journey of life such an interesting ride

This wonderful journey began in a village over half a century ago
Where two souls were blessed into one body without much ado
If we celebrated those golden years to raise our glass to toast
We would have had many friends to say cheers along the coast

But this is not any special day when we haven’t got each other
I have lost my life partner she cannot be replaced by any other
No life’s everlasting, dark clouds are bound to come and gather
Life of Lakhan and Saroj is different it will go further and further.

19th January 2014 at Denarau Beach Fiji

My Shattered Dreams

If dreams were not to be part of the miracle of this nature
I would never have met her again in my dreamy adventure
The aching heart is the root of all my sorrow and pain
If I had no heart then there would not have been any pain
I wouldn't have known the art of living or the way to die
If the beginning of my love life wasn’t so mighty and high
There's no hope in living and no starry looks in the eye
Life without my Pretty Lotus makes me gazing at the sky.
Her reincarnation and resurrection brought all those lovely dreams
They are now all lost in the way and are part of my shattered dreams.

MY TALKING HEAD

O darling, just keep sitting in front of me
This will give me the greatest joy you see
The more I see you the more I admire you
My thoughts will transmit my love to you
Lovely face of my pretty lotus would shine
She’ll dwell in my heart and I will feel fine
I long to hold you tight and steal your kiss
That will be all I need so that I get my bliss


If I do not feel at ease without you, what shall I do?
If your pretty face shines before me what shall I do?
You insist that I should forget you but this I can’t do.
If your fond memories keep haunting what shall I do?
My whole life feels empty without you what shall I do?
I’ve forgotten myself searching for you what shall I do?
If your eyes keep giving me your love, what shall I do?
If I see your image in every mirror here what shall I do?

I pretend to live my life without your presence here
This is like living my life that is full of guilt my dear
You are my inspiration how can I live with you here
My heart dies many times in search of you, my dear
People say I’m alive but I’m living with guilt my dear
The loneliness is my only curse, I don’t like it my dear
My soul cries for peace and my eyes shed tears my dear
As if, I’m carrying my corpse on my shoulders my dear
I’m afraid to give you any blame cos I love you my dear
The fear has kept my lips all tight, I keep quiet my dear

Eventually I had to change many of my thinking
With the masses of the world, I started walking
Real enlightenment came after my heavy heartburn
No one that leaves this sinful world will ever return
It was my duty and responsibility to look after her
The life she lost I had to sustain all the pain of her
It seems I have created thorny route for my future
I had to crush all my feelings so wanted the nature.


All that the broken heart said my teary eyes saw it all
Once again, the sorrow and the pain came out to stroll
Whenever she returned in my dreams, I created a call
Every night of my dreadful life seemed dull and small
All her fond memories kept coming with many questions
A sight of my pretty lotus tore open all my great emotions
In the hope of winning her heart back, I forgot to resolve
That I was lonely and the pain was too much to dissolve.

Come darling, I want to decorate your song on my lips
It’s my real wish to bring your loving words on my lips
I long to drop a few of my tears to convert them to pearl
I’m now tired of waiting for your return, my lovely pearl
You are thinking of me I know this from my hard hiccups
I’m all ready and willing to enjoy your love in my teacups.


Lasting Image

My heart slowed down after so much of rejoice
My family life has given sorrows left no choice
My vision has shivered with a shooting star
Life’s bringing me fond memories from afar
She is lost in the heaven typhoon in my mind
My life is left with pain that is of unique kind
The one who was the centre of my heart beat
Is lost in the oblivion putting me in cold seat
All my wishes of living have been lost forever
Silence looms in my solitary life like the fever
The shines of life have all turned into loneliness
There’s no hope left, gone are all my brightness
She has left a lasting image in my lonesome life
Heaven is happy after burning my flowery life
My love that has passed away is haunting me
There are tears in my eyes days are hurting me
She lives in my thoughts and melodies all day
I miss her heaps but find it very difficult to say
From our two bodies we lived just as one soul
To love and cherish each other was our goal
What I’ve lost cannot be found ever in my life
When darkness falls, she shines as my only lite

Memories Galore


I have memories galore of the past loving years
There are words and thoughts of creeping fears
The route ahead now looks all confusing and dark
Walking alone is painful without that lovely mark
I am lost in that forest searching for that lost life
Every moment I long for the lost love of my wife
All that was given to me has shattered and gone
Dark clouds on my horizon nothing can be done
All moments lead me to a state of utter confusion
There’s no life here my fate is denying conclusion
There’s no one to guide me now and lead the way
I am looking for my beloved every night and day
Every season looks dull there’s no happiness here
My sight has lost all the shines in the atmosphere
Ages have passed since I had any lovely dreams
I lament my loss and my bed makes the screams
The image in the mirror teases me to stay away
The stones in my hand cannot break that array

Could Not Find My Love

My heart longs to love but there’s no lover in my sight
My heart’s for sale but I can’t find a buyer that’s right
There must be someone who has the feeling of sorrow and pain
There must be someone who can erase my loneliness again
I can sacrifice my heart, soul and all my life for the one alone
The one who has the acceptance of my love in the eyes shown
I would forgive and forget all the stress and strain of my life
If I could just find that special being only once in my strife
I know not how many wintry nights I have spent in the search
I have written hundreds of poems for the one I am in search
I have gathered my hearty wishes and knocked at many doors
I have not being able to find the one I loved on any orderly floors.

You Will Flourish

Millions of moths get burnt in search of secrets
Lamps are to give light not to burn the crickets
I am ready to reveal all my feeling and emotion
I loved her dearly always with my great passion
She’s gone but not forgotten I miss her very much
Those who go away don’t return I know life is such
Those who cry should assess their pain properly
Let not the tears fall but contain them carefully
Let me spill out all my pains and sorrows today
They keep on coming as punishment everyday
I had a feeling she would return home one day
I have changed my mind to stay with her today
Light as many lamps and fly over them to vanish
Let the love last forever and then you will flourish.

Memorable Life


The pain is unbearable to reveal all my feelings for my love
Many painful moments have gone but I’m alone in my cove
I was told that only lovers live in this world of love and joy
But my eager eyes are still waiting for the return of my joy
Tears drop and heart breaks, people have given me names
I am all broken and all the pieces have now burnt in flames
I have blamed myself for my follies but what else can I do?
I am looking for that moment when I would be ready to go
The one who lived and loved and made my life so adorable
The pretty lotus is no more but I know her life is memorable.

MUTUAL THOUGHTS
Every moment of my life is engrossed in your loving thoughts
This heart knows well that it has the backing of your thoughts
There is a mysterious feeling of fear that is engrossing my heart
Soon your loving thoughts will disappear tearing my heart apart

Sweet dreams comfort me but disappear when slumber goes away
The anguish is deeply felt when the heartbeats skip make me sway
Taking every breadth is like dying bit by bit for me, I cannot bear
When you were around our love was comforting and full of care

Where have the happy times gone and why do we long for love?
We need to wake up again from our dreams and sing like a dove

Your departure was unbearable and my joining you is far away

There is no explanation for all that have gone wrong in our way

Despite the difficult feeling, I keep my hope up to meet you soon
Until that happens, I know we’ll keep singing our favourite tune
Every moment of my life is engrossed in your loving thoughts
This heart knows well that it has the backing of your thoughts.

No Fear To Be Restrained

All Mighty God please let my world become the calmest ocean
Where only peace and calm prevail and there’s no commotion
If this isn’t possible then make my weeping eyes become stones
So there are no tears of pain and sorrow when it’s time for groans
I have not seen You but have imagined your images and kindness
Come and reveal Yourself to me soon or let me attain blindness

I am fully contended and I do not desire anything else to meet
Let me live within my means to cover my feet with the available sheet
If there are no worries for me and there are no tears in my eyes
It is all because I have accepted the worst and changed my ways
My joys are no longer with me and my sorrows are all sustained
If my life has to end let it be so, I have no fear to be restrained.

September 2014.


Life Is A Journey Not A Destination

My determination to advance in life should make me achieve everything
The journey of our life becomes a destination with the first bold step we bring
So learn to command the broken heart to advance to heavenly abode
Remember to wake up from the dreams when you have reached the crossroad
O sorrowful heart you seem to be ready and eager to proceed but be warned
This difficult journey is full of stress therefore it is better to be forewarned
Do remember your soul mate and think of her multiple fond memories
This world of so called love and joy is all fake and gives you tons of worries
So why worry and why lament for what has to happen has been done
Let bygone be bygone and now is the time to begin curing hardship alone.
If I am determined to move on with my life everything becomes possible
If I commence my journey of life then reaching the destination is possible.

 

Love is Fire Love is Flame
Love is fire love is flame play it right it is the best game
To love and to cherish that love is a vital human claim
If there is a face, I want to see and treasure in my life
If there’s a smile that made all the difference to my life
My Pretty Lotus had all of it and a lot more I admired
All were perfect and touched me deep that I desired
First thing in the morning when I heard her sweet voice
The last thing at night was sweet dreams of my choice
The brush of her hair and the touch of her warm hands
The thought of times spent together lovingly never ends

That is why I say love is fire love is flame and it burns all day
So to love and cherish that love is deep when she’s away
If there is one joy, one love that I never ever want to part
It’s the deep love of my Pretty Lotus that’s filling my heart
She was my special love, my world, my heart, my soul and all
If time could tarry a little, I could freeze my love and make a call
Why aren’t you in my arms darling where we ought to be
You are still here deep in my heart where no one can see

You are gone but your fond memories are still here with me
My life is filed with that deep love that you had given me
Our bond was so strong and all our hold so tight and right
That I feel you are my only star that is still shinning so bright
All your blessings are always with me coming from above
To love and to cherish you I have found my one true love
Our life was entwined as one when our love journey began
We knew our love was fire and love was flame thus we sang
My heart is now so cold and gone hard like rock and stone
It sits all day thinking of you, closed and quiet when alone
My day rolls and I get this fear that my heart will disappear
Then the night comes and that fire and flame give me fear

Five hundred days have passed and time has left me all bare
I still want to love and cherish my love and that’s what I care
When I look back I now find my heart is dark as black as coal
The fond memories put you in my chest where there’s a hole
My laptop says I am a robot and my heart should be steel
There should not be any pain and sorrow that I could feel

When my love is fire and love is flame the heart can burn
It still wants to love and to cherish and wants you to return
Lakhan’s heart though dark and cold, is still open and bold
It wants to still burn with that love that his Saroj had in her fold.


Our Souls Dwell Forever

Four hundred days have gone by since your departure
Thou art always in all my thoughts like my own nature
No one can ever keep thee hidden from my sight any more
Many a morn and eve I hear your footsteps coming ashore
Thy soul has come within my heart and given me happiness
I know not why my life is all shattered living with emptiness
Days and nights pass and ages bloom and fade like flowers
On many an idle day haven’t I grieved for my loss for hours
When I feel tired of waiting I retire to sleep on my idle bed
There I dream of all the fond memories you and I have had
In the morning when I wake up I find all emptiness around
There isn’t a pretty lotus in the pond and the sweet sound
All are gone but not forgotten I have a lot to celebrate now
I have treasured all your memories but I do not know how
All I know that I still love you and continue to do so forever
In my hope that the souls of Lakhan and Saroj dwell forever

Treasure Her Memories

O God ask the sky to open up but shower a blessing
Let the drizzle be so light that her arrival is pleasing

When she is with me let the sky pour the heaviest rain
So that she finds it hard to leave me in the pouring rain

That would be an additional pleasure to extend my age
Her eyes would be my mirror to see more of my image


Let her pretty face keep twinkling in my eyes forever
Let my love be blissful and forgiving like a true lover

Let there be no disturbance and no one to bother
Let me feel the joy of my life come to me together

My hugs and kisses for my sweetheart should hold her
Let me extend my love to persuade her and hold her

To love and to treasure her would be my only pleasure
Let no lightning and thunder spoil my lovely pleasure

Beauty and lovers have been at loggerheads always
Let me strike a balance and honour both as always

I made a solemn prayer that she should be all mine
I did this because this was a responsibility of mine

How fortunate was I when she consented to my love
For years we created a family that was full of our love

I now regret that I couldn’t look after my treasure well
Nature took her away so soon to make me feel unwell

Life would have been easier for me if we had never met
I wouldn’t be lonely suffering my pain and sorrow, I bet

Now that the unthinkable has happened and she is gone
I’ll treasure all her fond memories from dusk to dawn

That was how well my pretty lotus, my life and my dear wife
Groomed me well for fifty five years and enriched my life

No one has ever known our secret recipe for life and living
It was our instinctual love that made our life worth living

My people will love and cherish the life we proudly spent
Just a rose on our mantle would provide us the right scent.
Ram Lakhan Prasad, 26th August 2014.

You Were Always There For Me
You were all mine when I needed you for fitness
You were my doctor when I felt sick with illness
You were my army when I needed your protection
You were my umbrella when life rained detention
You were my rock when I got weary and tense
You were my shield when I needed a defence

You were my spirit when I wanted a fest
You were my pillow when I needed a rest
You were my sweet voice whenever I spoke to you
You were my open ear when I wanted to hear you
You were my comfort when I felt any pain
You were my heroin when I was lost in vain
You were my sunshine when darkness fell
You were my answer when questions dwell
You were my inspiration to overcome my hardship
You held my hands when I needed your friendship
You kissed and healed my wounds everyday
Your "I love you" each night made all my day
You were always there for me when I needed you
You are no more now when I want and need you.


MY IMAGINATION
When you are no more I keep imagining the woods
The woods that are without any trees or any goods
I imagine the rivers that are all dry and waterless
I imagine the sea that is all stormy and worthless
I imagine myself standing here without your love
I imagine how lost and all dilapidated is my cove
When life is such I do not want to live any more
My imagination stops and gives sadness galore.

 

Reflections of a Beautiful Life

The sun rose above the hills in my village
As the joy of my heart sped for mileage
Rays of warmth and love rose as well
When My Pretty Lotus came in to dwell

Together we saw fresh dew upon the grass
Birds chirped, butterflies flew to over pass
I watched her gently moving in the day
My love got deeper and deeper everyday

I enjoyed the stillness and calm for long
Watching as she smiled and sang a song
She brought me fame and wealth always
Like a slow flowing traffic of the highways

My heart and soul kept flowing with joy
I smiled and I quietly reflected to enjoy
I was handed a sweet princess for care
A sweet princess for my love life to share

I took a vow to myself to be her prince
She enriched my life to let me convince
Love and always cherish her was the way
Until my last breath and until my last day

I kept all my vows and lived a full family life
I let her reign as my queen and be my wife
When she was gone, I made a promise to me
I’ll treasure all fond memories that I can see

Fifteen months have gone by I’m still grieving
My love’s like war easy to begin never ending
I’ve fond reflections of all beautiful moments
I’ve created many poems no more comments.

WHO WAS SHE?

She was my strong raft in the rapids of my life
She was my only peace in the midst of all strife
She was the needed shore to shipwrecked soul
She was the strongest bridge to my life-long goal
She was the greatest finish of an adorable run
She was the only shine when there was no sun
She was my rope to hold when I started to fall
She was my beloved wife and she was my all
She was my Pretty Lotus of my lovely pond
She was my angel whose memories are fond.

OUR INSTINCTUAL LOVE

When it came to look at a loving couple
Weren’t we called the perfect double?
There was romance, love, and laughter
In the deep love that we shared together
We cared enough to listen to each other
To honestly trust to understand each other
To build a life together that was no other
Side by side and hand in hand living together
We both knew that we were the luckiest souls
We had truth beauty and goodness as our goals
Through ups and downs and give and take,
Our love just kept on growing in the lake
We searched and found the best in each other
She saw the best in me and I saw no other
I guess it took the two of us to perfect tango
To make our rich family life hard to forego.

Love Flourishes

When in love we have many wishes
Life’s full of laughter and many kisses
Losing that loved one is tragic indeed
Life’s not the same, memories bleed
Dreams galore even in the open eyes
Sorrows create tears in the sad eyes
When the love departs and is no more
These joyful eyes create tears galore
Every heartbeat keeps telling a story
Life then loves living but with her glory
She’s gone but the fond memories remain
Love flourishes even in rough and thundery rain.


To Her With Love

I have been fighting my feelings and emotions inside
That filled and then emptied me, like a fast rolling tide
There are moments of deep pain of sorrow and hate
These Leave me to ponder for many hours of late

I loved you My Pretty Lotus it's your presence I miss.
I terribly long to see you, I want that one last kiss
I have the greatest pain of all that hurts me so deep,
Is after giving you my love I can't have yours to keep

I loved to have you by my side always longing for more,
I had you feel the same at all time to mutually adore
You see my lovely Lotus; I had given you my heart
I always revealed the depths of my soul as a start

Now I am left feeling hopelessly empty and hollow
Paying this immeasurable toll nothing else to follow
It is my selfishness I know to feel this way
But it's how I feel inside, each and every day

I am always hoping and praying for the next time we meet
For you to allow once again to feel happy and complete
So I say be rest assured I WILL see you once again

For it's not a question of if, but a question of when.

And when that joyous time comes I'll be in total bliss
For no longer will I wait for that one last sweet kiss. 

I Do Not Fear Death

When I had you I was afraid to die
Now that you're gone, death is no shy
If he takes me today I will go with a smile
Let others cope and heal for awhile
I am selfish, yes I am that for sure
This internal pain I can not endure
If death take me today, next month or year
Death I am ready, and you I do not fear.
Take me there where my Lotus dwells
Make me float in the river that swells.


You Chose To Be With Me

Everything that I ever wanted in my life
Was for my Lotus to be my beautiful wife.
I've cried everyday since she went away
Wondering how I could’ve made her stay.

I miss the days when she would cook
I loved to watch her read a book.
I think about her every minute every day
My Lotus was just so great in every way.

Let's go to dinner! That sounded fine
She always ordered sprite but no wine.
I drove her everywhere she wanted to go
My Pretty Lotus was swift but never slow

She looked so pretty and smelled so nice
I got lucky when I rolled my lovely dice.
Flowers and cards, she loved them all
Especially the bright roses in the fall.

I could pick her out in any crowd
"That's my Baby!" I was so proud.
She’d smile at me and then I knew
I'd get to go home and be with you.

We had our own language and special words to speak
Many new phrases and words came for us every week.
Mine were dorky, she'd shake her head
But I always laughed at the ones she said.

How lucky was I to have her around here
I was always smiling when she was near.
She blessed my life with love and a lot of joy
Especially when she brought home our first boy.

We loved to travel to places near and far
It did not matter if it was by plane or car.
She really knew how to plan all the trip
She willingly allowed me the wines to sip.

I now miss the laughs and all the fun
I still can't believe that it's all gone.
She was an angel in my mind and heart
On every step she looked very smart

She taught me a lot about how to live
How to love, behave and how to give.
Now I have to do all these on my own
But I feel she’s with me, I'm not alone.

Through the bedroom door I go each day
"Hi, my pretty lotus!" is all what I say.
Everything here reminds me of that dove
All the things I’ve treasured about her love.

Clothes, shoes, jewels and even perfume
All her used things that are in our room.
They remind me of my love for you my love
And make me smile when I feel blue and sob

I wish that she was still here with me
To guide me, love me and play with me .
I'd get her ice cream and rub her feet
I'd let her sit in the best recliner seat!

I never knew the right ghazal and song
She'd always help me when I was wrong.
Sometimes it was my purposeful gaffe
Just to please her and make her laugh.

Cooking was something I could not do
Cleaning the dishes I never did for you.
I could bring for her all things good
And I could make the yard look good.

Lakhan still wants to be happy in this life
But that's not easy without my pretty wife.
But for my every day that now goes by
My Saroj reminds me of what, where and why.

I wish that I could trade places with you
For all pain and suffering you went through.
She smiled and stood tall above the crowd
All the family and friends were very proud.

I know I'm dull and I cannot ever dance
I'm so very thankful you gave me a chance.
To try in many ways to love well and serve
I wish I could give you all that you deserve.

There was only one chance in my life
For you to be my beautiful wedded wife.
You were so gracious and giving for all to see
I'm thankful and glad you chose to be with me.


Hard To Say Goodbye

Fifteen months have passed since I lost my Pretty Lotus forever
As I stand by my window, I recall events that give me a shiver
The doctors telling me you that won’t be with us for much long
I tried hiding this bad news but you guessed it like an old song

The whole world began looking grim and colours began to fade
I felt like that fish out of the water wanting to go back to its glade
My pretty lotus was slowly fading away I couldn’t do any thing
All my tender loving care couldn’t diminish your internal sting

The blooming rose tried her best to resist the will of nature to live
The ailment increased and the treatment couldn’t make her live
The shining sun was slowly fading and the time was running out
I began praying daily for good news but began to lose my bout

My beloved who was once very bubbly had given all her hopes
Our family life was soon to end thus I had never seen the ropes
We had plans to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary soon
But her sudden departure brought disaster and spoilt all our boon

She is no more but all her golden memories still linger in my mind
I have lost my most precious treasure there’s no other of that kind
In my ears, I can still hear those sweet voices and melodious song
It is hard to say goodbye to my love that was half a century long.

 

She Would Return Tomorrow

I was told that time was the healer of all pain
After a long draught there comes some rain
She is gone my life is ruined with no heal in sight
I still feel all lonely and have no strength to fight

Every day I try to wake up to see that new day
I try to hear her voice but don’t know what they say
Each morning is harder than the one that is new
My pillow is soaked with tears like the morning dew

With positive stance, we could beat the coming danger
But we knew that was no small feat got a lot stranger
All our genuine efforts were many and meant much more
We didn’t know death would come knocking at our door

Our fight with the fate was getting harder and harder
We prayed hard to spend a lot more time together
All our daily activities seemed to be lined with gold
We kept talking of our future plans and growing old

We were told that miracles do happen at times
We were told to have faith in our prayer lines
We thought that we were winning for sure
She’d be with me always with the right cure

Alas! That did not happen and she was gone
I was left alone and all my pleasure has gone
Lakhan is now full of sadness, pain and sorrow
But our Jayden says that his Nani would come tomorrow.


I Do Love You

I definitely find it truly selfish to want her back again
I could not calm her mind, I could not ease her pain;
I thought my love was enough to keep her here with me;
But now I know for certain that was never going to be.


I loved her, liked her, sometimes we argued we hissed
Her face, her touch, her scent forever would be missed
To hold her in my arms again, my soul no longer lost;
I'd pay the price and gladly have no worry to the cost.

They say that life gets better and time will ease the pain;
They cannot see the truth, it never was right and sane
No daytime and no night time just hour on hour on hour;
Time has no more meaning now life's not sweet it's sour.

I thought I had my wife in my life forever to love and play
If I had one I know she passed away that dreadful day;
Sometimes I know I hurt her, I know that was so true;
Please forgive me for those wrongs for I do love you.

 

I Miss Her

The day My Pretty Lotus passed away
I was broken and couldn’t find my way
I tried to take a break to relax in life
My heart ached and I missed my wife

The pain inside my heart hurt me badly
The eyes revealed many stories very sadly
Some old, some new treasured memories
It seemed we were together for centuries

The pain of losing a dear one is so deep
This sorrow disturbs the peaceful sleep
It’s all lonely here and it’s difficult to bear
Life without her hurts the heart like spear.


The Pretty Lotus of My Pond

The timeline of my life has fond memories that last
The ins and outs of life of years that have gone past
There are segments of places, time and of all events
They drift through the mind and make deadly tents


We both loved, lived, laughed and liked our family life
All our choices were simple cos she was a perfect wife
Our fond memories filled our soul with great creation
We shared a common goal throughout our destination

My angel passed away giving the heaven another soul
That tore the fabric of my life and left me with a hole
I can feel the open space because my life has ceased
She’s gone to rest in peace but how can I be pleased

The life of my Pretty Lotus can never be severed ever
She’s alive in my heart and mind this day and forever
The timeline shows me she’s blessing me from above
My Pretty Lotus of my pond is singing softly like a dove.

 


Song Of My Dove

Some say my nights have a thousand eyes
But I can’t see her anywhere around me
Others say my days have a million eyes
But I still can’t see her anywhere near me
All the lights of the bright world have died
It is now dark and the setting sun has died
I hear the wind saying a few things to me
My healing heart is unable to beat and see
The bright light of my whole life has died
All is lost after my Pretty Lotus has died
So no matter how far or how long it is
Love for her will still be the same as is
Whether in spirit, mind or body I’m here
As long as my angel will always is near
I will always love and cherish my love
As long as I hear the song of my dove.


Treasured Fond Memories

If anyone peeps in my heart only pieces they’ll find
These are her fond memories that are in my mind
My heart weeps and the mind is unable to think
I long to hear her voice and experience her wink

None of these would be seen, heard or felt now
That is the way it is going to be, I accept it now
Since the day I lost my Lotus I’m all torn and cold
I keep sobbing and saying I need her hand to hold

Everyone says be strong old man things will pass
But they aren’t able to see the tears my eyes pass
My heart was torn and it will stay that was forever
Until I can find my Lotus and we’re again together

On the day she departed and left without goodbye
That day is haunting me and makes me call and cry
Now the feeling of sorrow is deep pain all the side
It is getting difficult day by day, I am unable to hide

So, as I write this and you are somewhere far away
I can only reach that place by loving you this way
Your Lakhan is now all broken, so torn and so cold
But love is fire, love is flame so he would try to act bold.


Dream To Forever Last

When my days are darker and the nights are cloudy
Heart pains, eyes search and my head goes all giddy
There’s nothing to do but think of you and only you
I reach out wanting to see that light that brings you


I get the glare and the shine but I still can’t find you
I want to hear the sweet voice that tells me it’s you
I’d like to hold you tight and get the same embrace
When I get nearer I see you and I in different place

You’re in heaven and I’m still dwelling in sinful hell
My wish is to hold your hand cos I’ve stories to tell
When I open my eyes to begin the tales of our past
I know it is only a dream but hope it to forever last.

You’ve become but a distant fond memory of the past
The flashbacks and the foregrounding all make a blast
They haunt and force me to hum that often sung song
The parted soul would meet one day right or wrong. 


That Is Lakhan’s Life

I wrote a name in the sky during my college days
I saw that the strong wind came and blew it away
Then I wrote that same name in the sand some days
The waves of the ocean came and washed it away
On parting, I wrote that name in a hearty place
I made it sure that forever that name would stay
Did I tell her that I liked her? Yes I did.
Did I tell her that she was an angel? Yes I did.
Did I tell her that we could live together? Yes I did.
Did I tell her that she was pretty? Yes I did.
If I did then why are we so far away now? Fate!
I am here and she is there, that is not great!
We parted one morning because of health differences
We promised to be connected without any inferences
Life was shattered without any physical relationship
I am crying my heart begging for the same friendship
She is far and unable to hear all my intimate calls
My days pass with painful cry and very mighty falls
I wear a fake smile to hide my world torn apart
Underneath that dismal smile is a broken heart
All fond memories haunt me now I made a mistake
Why did I let her go but put more care I could take
All those golden memories are slowly fading away
Time moves on and I am repenting it all the way
The Pretty Lotus shall never meet me, it seems
Time moved and over half a century now beams
We had great feelings for each other all along
On my deathbed I will repent with my sad song
It now seems I hurt the one I loved, I know not why
I am so distraught and lonely, I still know not why
All hopes have faded and all reunion has gone
Will I ever get over the great loss I have done?
Rose was the pretty flower once in my life
Lotus replaced my pond and became my wife
My pretty lotus gave me true gift of my life
She loved me dearly and was a devoted wife
No one will ever replace her company in my life
This world is now all illusion and is full of strife.
For all my friends I have this new message
True love is a bright light in a dark passage
Faithful lovers keep that alight and burning
It is a sweet fragrance that needs smelling
So keep a bit of space in your heart my dear
Let this eternal love flourish forever without fear.
Our emotions will recognize no barriers I say
It will jump, leap and penetrate space all day
True lovers have no hurdles, fences and walls
They show their tender loving care at all calls
Lovers are more alike than unlike this I know
Lovers see themselves in each other and grow.
Now that we cannot be lovers, husband and wife
Saroj in heaven, me in hell and that is Lakhan’s life.
I am learning to live my life the best I can
But it is hard when the heat is high without a fan
My Pretty Lotus is gone but not forgotten
The fond memories are many to be easily forgotten
Lakhan and Saroj, Saroj and Lakhan are immortal
The love that began long ago will remain immortal.


Ram Lakhan Prasad, June 2014.

To Love And Cherish Her Again

The time has come to turn back the clock
Let me go back to that early college day
She said I could be her prince of the block
To live a long family life and enjoy all day

She wanted me to build a home in a village
Ask all our friends, family and others to see
On that farm we would enjoy all our tillage
That’ll be the heaven to live and die with me

So I wedded my princess and brought her home
She loved the company and gave me all the joy
We flew, travelled; we sailed to sit in the dome
She bore children raised them with special ploy


We worked well and retired to live a happy life
Life was treating us well on all moves and steps
She was gone when a lightening struck our life
I tried to save her and prayed hard on all steps

God stole her soul and planted it in the heaven
I was left at home to repent, cry and to mourn
I was left to start a life anew away from heaven
It wasn’t that simple to live even if I was reborn

So I planted a rose in the garden of my sad heart
To ensure she lived there to smell the fragrance
There wouldn’t be any thorns to pierce our heart
No tears to dim the eyes with sad remembrance

I pledged to see there were no stones in the path
No bruised feet here and no sad goodbyes forever
Our new life will be plain sailing for our new bath
We’d clean both our souls to let them live forever

My daily prayer now is not to turn the clock back
The time that has passed should never bother me
Thorns and rocks that lie ahead be placed in sack
Thrown in the deep sea and let her live with me

The past gone days become all her fond memories
Her soul to merge within me and I live my life again
I want to be the charming prince of her memories
To love and cherish her for the rest of my life again.


How Can I Thank Her?

Years have passed when I had a perfect addition to my life
She entered my heart and proudly become my lovely wife
She was fair and had a light skin but no curls no wavy hair
Her living was straight and bright and her conduct was fair

It was her mystic smile so meaningful clear and delightful
It was her shinning eyes so pretty charming and beautiful
She brought that evergreen smile to my face I remember
Her internal beauty won my heart at first sight I consider

She had the right wit and the humour for my love to swell
I made up my mind to ask her that in my heart she to dwell
She had her way about so I fell to my knees and confessed
Like my mentor, she raised her hands to make me blessed

There were many reasons for my love I gave her a bunch
The flowers in that bunch could not meet her pretty face
We were married and she came to me with a nice crunch
Our life moved smoothly as if it was tied with golden lace

It was my fortune to have her in my life as a pretty wife
We were always proud with our choice to love and live
She loved and tamed me to make the prince of her life
We had a lot to share with each other had more to give

She became my sweet heart and the only love of my life
Although we were opposites, we became a beautiful pair
Life was happy the Pretty Lotus remained my lovely wife
We lived a long and pleasant life and had a lot to share

When everything was cool and charming, lightening struck
My whole life came to an end when she was called to rest
I couldn’t impress the taker of life as if I ran out of all luck
The love and laughter all ended and there wasn’t any fest

There’s one good feeling I had for she admired my poems
She was the strength for all my success and achievements
Without her in my life, I couldn’t have written such poems
All that is created is only for her and for her achievements

Without her support, I would have been a zero in my life
She made me a hero of her heart and made me so gentle
She knew what to do in all the ups and downs of our life
I’d like to thank her by putting this poetry on my mantle.


Departure Has Torn Me Apart

Nature had made her lips so sweet and soft only I know
I had felt them as my pretty lotus which made me glow
Whenever I had copied her shadows on the paper here
People have called it a melody that was so sweet and dear
O my sweet heart thou art the melodious music of my life
Thou art my sweetest song and there is none other so rife
There is no match for your fame and glory I can surely tell
Thou art the finest creation of nature for me that I can tell
It’s my pride and honour to have found you as my beloved
Your presence here had been so fondly treasured and loved
You had given me a reason to live and made my life a glow
Your departure has torn me apart and has given me a blow.


My Beloved Wife I Miss You.

In my first ever prayer of my life
I prayed for you to be my wedded wife
I was granted this wish of my life
When you became my pretty wife

Life changed when we got married
I enjoyed the joy and the love I carried
Our every day was blissfully fine
Nights were short but you were mine

Our love bloomed when you used to cook
I began reading you as my favourite book
You and I promised to look, live and love
I was your hero and you became my dove

You looked prettier and nicer every day
I became a devoted lover you would say
We realised we were made for each other
We loved our life and adored each other

Days went by, years passed, we moved on
Our family life flourished and we moved on
Together we nourished four lovely children
Our love deepened nothing remain hidden

We dined we shined and we rolled along
We loved everything all that came along
You and I shared a fantastic family life
I could see that you were a perfect wife
You became my pretty lotus full of fun
Children were our joy as bright as sun
Our future was bright we had joy galore
Our love livened and we reached ashore

We travelled the world loved places afar
Cruises, flights and many trips by a car
The voyages led us love each other more
We didn’t know we were to face the sore

You had blessed my life with love and joy
When I started to look like a happy boy
Our life changed and you began to fade
After half a century our life lost a shade

You collapsed in my arms I felt helpless
I wanted to talk but you were breathless
Paramedics took you away gave me hope
Miracles do happen we go up find a slope

The last three days were a torture for me
I waited for a revival and a miracle to see
You were gone when your life support turned off
My dreams were shattered all lights went off

I have cried everyday since you went away
I did not know how I could make you stay
I miss your fond memories and all your glee
I wish I could get you back to live with me


You want me to be happy living a lonely life
I know that it is very difficult without a wife
Everyday that goes by your memories haunt
I am all distraught and cannot go on a jaunt

I miss all your laughs and all your tender care
I miss your cooking your love and all the flare
I cannot believe that you are gone from my life
You are an angel in my heart and still my wife.

 

Painful Tales

Who Will Hear Our Painful Tales
It is spring time and it is still cooler
It’s for her to decide to return sooner
It is her loyalty and my compassion
Keep remembering or forget them all
My pain giver must tell me the truth
Shall I keep weeping or start smiling
Love never dies we both know well
Let us keep chatting and listening
We are the sailors in the stormy sea
Shall we survive the pain or perish
Many old wise words come to haunt
But who will hear our painful
tales ?


MEMORIES OF HALF A CENTURY

Where have you gone my love?
I am still searching your cove
There are many memories here
Some I can’t others I can hear
Some in home others in my heart
Nothing could ever tear us apart

Many people think you’re gone
I just feel you’ve just moved on
You did not like being positive
I live daily just staying positive
Mere thought of your presence
Is enough to give an impression

That you are still so close to me
It seems crazy but it has to be
We both were attached for years
How can we detach with tears
You were my pretty lotus
I’ll never forget that status

I was wild and you tamed me
You loved and cared for me
Our every day was made jovial
Your love was very ceremonial
You were such a fun to be with
Your personality was no myth

Truth, beauty and goodness galore
Gave me joy kept our love in store
Days are dull your absence is painful
I long to talk but life is distasteful

I owe you for all that you taught me
I can now cook, wash and serve me

Thank you for your tender loving care
When I join you we will learn to share
Life isn’t the same my heart is broken
Your departure hurts I am all shaken
Lakhan’s treasure is Saroj’s fond memory
It has reigned here for over half a century.


WHERE IS THE PRINCE?

Do you still remember how it used to be
Nothing else mattered but only you and me
Lovely music, good food and country roads
Loving moments hand in hand no other loads
We had many dreams we had real good times
Our life was full of joy we were in our primes
I am missing you heaps but can you also see
My days are long and my nights torture me
I remember I remember the lady of my love
The one who gave me joy and was my dove
Where’s my dove gone I don’t seem to know
One year has gone but I still have your glow
Time simply stood still as I have you in my arm
We longed to live forever enjoying this charm
Our journey of a thousand miles came to an end
We couldn’t bid each other goodbye in the end
Saroj reached her heavenly abode to rest in peace
Lakhan’s burning in hell his suffering won’t cease
A light has been burning in my heart ever since
My princess is gone away but left behind is her prince.

You Were My Angel

Everyone knew you were my angel
Full of purity and my divine angel
You came from heaven into my heart
I loved you dearly right from the start
Now you’re no more and I’m really lost
This shouldn’t have happened at any cost
Your heart stopped but mine is broken
My feelings are shattered I’m shaken
I’ll not feel the same until we meet
It’ll be when my heart stops to beat
You gave my heart a reason to beat
But we finally lost the love and heat
I’m missing you more and more each day
Life’s shattered and I’ve great prize to pay
Lakhan is lonely without his Saroj around
My Saroj is gone away and can’t be found.

The Lover Is Crushed


The loneliness of the heart that’s filled with pain
Is felt only by the one who has suffered the pain
Now I am living a life that has nothing to gain
My beloved has gone and I’m feeling the pain
She gave me a life so bright and full of lustre
I am surrounded by darkness I can’t muster
My home is now filled with shattered dreams
A place filled with sorrow gone are all gleams
All her fond memories are my talking partners
Prayers for her salvation are my daily starters
There’s no such place that’s as sad as my home
Place that’s without hope comfort is out of my dome
A person with so much pain inside still lives here
There are cries without tears sobs you can’t hear
This is the life of Lakhan a devotee of his beloved
His Saroj is gone forever now the lover is crushed.
Saroj Is The Pretty Lotus Of These Gardens

I want to shout and I also want to cry
I want to hide and I also want to try
From all pain and sorrow but how can I
It was not that easy to say final goodbye
I want to scream and I also want to run
My life is very empty and there is no fun
It happened to me but I say why oh why
I want to move on but I cannot even try
I loved my beloved more than she knew
She left me all shattered when she flew
The passing away has hurt pain is deep
All my promises I was not able to keep
The tender loving care she gave is here
Love she showered is so deep and dear
How can I forget no one is able to tell me
Go on erase fond memories, don’t tell me
My mind views her movie of love and care
Nothing’s faded, her photos I sit and stare
I loved her and keep the love lamp burning
Half a century of memory is still churning
Memories are treasured and live in my heart
That is where I’ll make my garden so smart
Lakhan’s heart has many memorial gardens
His Saroj is the pretty lotus of these gardens.


No One Is Here

I gave you my all and I am trying so hard, I am trying my best
I am trying to live my life without your head on my chest
Thou art no more is hard to believe but I have to accept
You’re still living in my heart that has not slept but wept
You were there to guide me but I do not know what to do
I cook, I shop and I go for a ride but all these are without you
There is no desire there is no inspiration and I am confused
I wanted to come and join you but yam doot has refused
It is hard to live in the present when the mind dwells in the past
I do not know what I have lost and I know not how long this will last
I live in a world of loneliness and am drowning in the lake of sorrow
I am struggling to move on but all the roads have become so narrow
Lakhan longs to live the same caring and loving life you gave him
His beloved Saroj is gone and no one is here to be with him.


FOR HER SAKE

The empty feeling here is making me very tired
I feel all alone and lonely but more than retired
At night I lay in bed staring at that cruel ceiling
It looks like a wide screen shows all past feeling
I sit up when you are part of that loving moment
I begin to call but you do not make any comment
I go to sleep with these fond memories in my eyes
I long to have that dream that give me the old ties
Dreams are just dreams far from your presence
They can’t heal my suffering but act as penance
I yearn to stroll hand in hand in our back yard
Gaze at the stars and the moon with your card
The card that you gave me when I turned seventy
That was the most precious gift out of the plenty
When the moon is up the whole sky then weeps
Tears flood my thoughts then the heart sleeps
I am left to imagine your touch that gave me joy
All is so gentle, loving and kind like a child’s toy
I never expected this to happen not in my dream
Prince charming is not part of peach and cream
It was your sweetest smile that melted my heart
The strong feeling was ingrained in me from start
Whatever can be the reason for me to feel this way
I know that strong feeling grows stronger everyday
All the year I have been praying to grant you bliss
Every now and then I dream but that too is amiss
I’m badly wounded and can’t ever heal my senses
Your passing away broke me into thousand pieces
No one has any clue of the pain I’ve been through
It’s hard to guess the sleepless night I did accrue

Darling you’ve left me with all these heartaches
Friends see me smiling but can’t feel my aches
I can’t just surrender the pain and let things go
To ease and cease the misery I need to go slow
My happiness means seeing you happy and gay
Let me say this once more I love you everyday
Lakhan sheds a few tears how much can he take
Saroj knows well that I can live well for her sake.

My Saroj, The Pretty Lotus Of My Pond Is No More

It was Tuesday 12th March, 2013
The light of my love went out this day
It was Tuesday 10th February of 1959
My friends said it was Valentine’s Day
Whatever it was I found my love that day
That was fifty five long years ago today
It can be said it was many years ago
It can also be said once upon a time
In the calm and tiny island of Fiji
That I met my pretty lotus first time
A love that was love at first sight
A love that bloomed as days went by
A love that never faded come what may
I lived with no other thought at all
Than to love her and be loved by her
I was a country lad she a city girl
That match was approved in heaven
Our love was much more than love
We loved , my pretty lotus and me
We lived with no other thought at all
This was the reason we always bloomed
This was why we both always groomed
This was our destiny and our loving path
We made it last and last and last
Time was of no matter at all to us
Money was no clatter at all for us
Living with love was our only aim
Loving each other was our only claim
Our love was much more than love
We were put to many hard tests
We passed them all as best we could
We were united in matrimony with joy
We became two bodies with one soul
We led a brilliant peaceful family life
We deeply adored every day of our life
Our love was much more than love
We happily nurtured our four children
Each one was a jewel in the crown
They made our life all full of fun
They gave us joy of royalty worth a lot
We lived and loved with added pride
Trotted the world with lots of ride
We worked with glory and fame
In the calm and tiny island of Fiji
We moved to Aussie land with joy
Did all work as best as we could
Our love was much more than love
Success and happiness shared with pride
Together we made many progress alright
Our pride was love of our grand children
Each with talents and skills galore
These were the reasons we rejoiced
In Aussie land and the island of Fiji
Our love was much more than love
Days went by and we were getting old
Our love matured and we were told
Slow down so we retired and lived well
Each day was a sacred day for us
We believed in our rich silent prayers
But a severe storm developed in our life
My pretty lotus met a serious disaster
Her lungs and heart both got tired
With the faithful service she gave us all
Medical team did the best to improve her
But nature had its own way to prove
That whoever comes must also move on
That storm blew her soul out leaving me alone
My pretty lotus left me for good never to return
She was an angel but others envied
Love that they had never seen before
Neither the angels nor the demons
Could spare the life of my pretty lotus
I, a distraught lover looked at the sky
Yelled, cried and pleaded for her life
No one helped and she was gone
Our love was much more than just love
Now the moon never shines for me
The sun is always setting at wrong times
The stars have all lost their twinkle
The breeze is blowing the other way
The earth is trembling and shaking
The sky is getting darker and darker
The sea of love is getting stormy and rough
All these coz my pretty lotus is gone
All these coz I am alone and lonely
All these coz my love is love no more
Nature isn’t helpful but the bright eyes
Of my pretty lotus shines as ever
She is resting in a tomb I cannot see
She is looking at me I can still feel
She is still my only love I had known
She is my pretty lotus I have treasured
Our love was much more than just love
My Saroj, the pretty lotus of my pond is no more
Where art thou, come or call me to you
I have a lot to say to you and much to do.

I MISS THE TIMES

Where have you gone my darling
I can’t locate you here my darling
I miss the times when you were here
Giving me support to tell me not to fear
I held my head up high and felt strong
I loved to hear the choice of your song
Your looks and gestures I miss them all
Your words and thoughts were my call
Your sweet voice was the sound of music
Whether it was said in private or in public
You warned me what was right and wrong
You whispered in my ears if I took too long
Such a caring person you tamed all my ways
That helped me love life and made my days
Your guidance led me through the rough day
You loved me so dearly that changed my way
You had control over all the things in our life
You came as a solid rock and became my wife
My faults and errors you accepted as normal
This was divine and you were always formal
You stayed at my side and loved me so dearly
You made me proud by serving me so clearly
Then that day you decided to leave me and go
I crumbled but began doing all that I could do
No one could persuade you to come back to me
No miracle saved you from going away from me
Crying and mourning could not bring you back
I prayed hard and found out what was my lack
I couldn’t hold your soul leaving me for good
My prayers were weaker I finally understood
Lakhan had to give up his fight with the nature
Let Saroj go and think about my bleak future.

 

WHERE IS MY SAROJ TODAY

No one can imagine that pain so deep down inside me
No one can feel the sorrow so intense down inside me
I cannot explain these in words and can’t simply write
Times are difficult life is hard and my living is so tight
The reason for these changed conditions is my loss
Gone was the most precious treasure, wife my boss
She was my life, she was my love and she was my all
She was loving, she was pretty she always stood tall
The pain of her departure has torn my heart and soul
The sorrow of her passing away has changed my role
A loving husband has been turned into a sad widower
A strong man is now failing everywhere and is weaker
This loss has affected my eating, sleeping and living
She cannot be easily forgotten she was so forgiving
There is a feeling of loneliness and I am living alone
The shine inside me quickly died after she was gone
No one can fix my life they can only repair this pain
Kind words, frequent visits and tender care by people gain
There is no greater pain to witness for me on the sad face
There is no deeper sorrow to hurt me at this hearty place
Eyes now can’t see my beloved but I’ve all fond memories
Heart can’t feel her presence but I’ve all her energies
My sad heart is vaulted and I’m scared to let anyone in
There’s no one as sweet and loving as you to be found again
It doesn’t matter how many oceans and rivers I sometimes cry
My heart will never let you go and I don’t want to say good bye
Lakhan now spends a lot of his time where you used to lay
He sits alone, wondering and saying where’s my Saroj today.

A Gift Of Eternal Love

You were the love of my life, my wife and my sweet heart
Our fate was strong and allowed us to join our heart
Our meeting was godly arranged to set our destiny
You and I clicked and talked till we made our amenity
I knew it was love at first sight and you agreed
We talked, walked and loved for so many years indeed
I loved you so much and for only you I cared
Your love was deeper and much pure I compared
We left for our call of duty but returned to share life
We were united by ceremonies to become husband and wife
Our longings were over and we began our family life
Each and every day was full of joy living in bliss
Life gave pleasure we sealed our day with a kiss
We managed our life so well that we became a model for all
We kept our vows and our love was like a waterfall
Life had moved so well and we were living in retirement
Ecstasy reigned love flourished and we had contentment
The heart that I was living in failed to support me
The lungs where my breadth stayed cool failed me
My love couldn’t win to keep you living any more
God snatched you from me but I got your soul to store
You’re gone but your golden memories are not forgotten
All my dreams are shattered but you are forgiven
I will never get to feel your most intimate touch
Every one knows though that I love and miss you so much
Lakhan loved you dearly as a gift from above
Saroj was the gift of time and my gift of eternal love.

My House is Not a Home

My home is now a lonely place filled with pain
A grieving soul lives here with nothing to gain
He’s surrounded by darkness overwhelmed with shame
He is living a solitary life with no one to blame

Here is a place I have been living after my loss
It is a place that holds only shattered dreams
It’s a place filled with sorrow with no end in sight
I live here each day and try to sleep every night

This is a place so cold and lonely
This is a place I now store my wishes sadly
This is a place without much hope now
It is a place where my soul lives alone now

This is a life that should never have been
This is a place where it should not be seen
It is hard to bear one more such sad day
It’s hard to live with such heartache and dismay

This is a person with so much pain inside
Feeling of loneliness and no one to be by his side
When the tears stop then he can see clearly
His question now will be ‘Do people know me?’

This is a man who has lost his valued treasure
This is a person who is searching for his lost pleasure
This is the lover who has lost his sweetest life
This is that husband who mourns for his wife.

His wife is gone forever and he laments daily
His pains and sorrows keep escalating daily
His lives in a house that is not home any more
The pretty lotus, his wife lives off the shore.

I LOVE HER STILL

My life was a bed of roses when my pretty lotus was around
That family life was unique when there was her melodious sound
Life has completely changed after the demise of my pretty lotus
My entire world of love and lustre has fallen apart prick like cactus
How do I mend my broken heart and find hope in this wilderness
When the one I adored so much has gone away leaving behind bitterness
The mind and body are saturated with pain but living on fond memories
All that we shared all that we loved I now long to put in my documentaries
The bright and spicy look in those gorgeous eyes are no more in sight
The mystic smile on the charming face is no longer giving me the light
Our moments together were precious and many that can’t be forgotten
My resolve is to cherish them all forever and don’t let them go rotten
Your Lakhan has always loved you my angel and always will
I loved my Saroj more than self then, now and I love her still.


THE PAIN WILL SOFTEN

Nowadays I like this game of life that I play
Sometimes I close my eyes and then fade away
My body mind and soul float to a special place
It is beyond the stars the moon and the space
In this sacred place when I open my eyes to see
There are only two people there, my Saroj and me
All is beautiful here and feeling of love is right
There’s no pain, no sorrow everything is bright
There’s compassion, understanding no sadness
There’s no interference and no such madness
We’ve our own rules of love and our own ways
There’s no wall to separate us we like our days
There’s no one to disturb us, we do what we want
We don’t only love but we show how we chant
Chanting stops and the game comes to an end
My eyes open and reality sets in and I descend
Those few moments were very soothing and lovely
I’ve liked the game and want to play again surely
If Lakhan loves this game he should play it often
Saroj will give him company, and the pain will soften.

Spring Time

It is spring time and it is still cooler
It’s for her to decide to return or not
It is her loyalty and my compassion
Keep remembering or forget them all
My pain giver must tell me the truth
Shall I keep weeping or start smiling
Love never dies we both know well
Let us keep chatting and listening
We are the sailors in the stormy sea
Shall we survive the pain or perish
Many old wise words come to haunt
But who will hear our painful tales.


Ready To Meet My Best Friend

Today is 14th September 2014, eighteen months since my Saroj withered away
Nevermore will I see her smiling face and feel her strong firm embrace to play
There would never be a wish upon the starry skies and a gaze into her loving eyes
There would never be those warm lips upon mine and no sparkle and shine in my eyes
I am now a wonderer roaming the streets searching the one who has been taken away
This is nothing new for my thoughts were with her today and would be there everyday
I miss her heaps today, lying on my bed after my hospitalisation suffering in pain and sorrow
I long for a cuddle to minimize my hardships as she used to do before but not tomorrow
The fond memories of My Pretty Lotus are in her photo for keepsake and will never part
God may have her in His safekeeping but I have been keeping her tightly in my heart
When we took our vows we said ‘until death do we part’ but weren’t we lying?
Our marriage was a bond that united us but her tragic loss has left me crying
My soul, my heart and my life were taken away and I miss my soul mate very much
I woke up to find her body shutting down and I could not fix it and I failed as such
When she was with me, I was always afraid to die but now death seems my friend
If death takes me today, I will go with a smile because I would meet my best friend.

 

Another Ode to My Beloved Wife Saroj
(after 18 months of her passing away)

I just want to turn back the clock of my life to when I heard her say,
That I could be her charming prince and she would love me all day
What will I do you know, I would build another Saroj Niwas as my nest
So that all the world could see me rejoicing my love life again with my guest
My lovely princess that I chose will live forever with me to start my life anew
I will plant the soul of my pretty lotus in the pond that will be bright and new
I will plant roses in the garden nearby but there would be no thorns to pierce my heart
All the shady trees will wipe my tears and there would be stones to bruise my heart
But I do not know how to turn back the clock that have stolen the hours away
I know not how to remove the thorns and rocks that are hurting me everyday
I want to live that same love life once again but I am told that gone is that day
If I want to do this, I will have to slay the dragon that takes human life away
Prince Lakhan and the Princess Saroj will then live their love life forever as they want
No dragon would ever come to separate them but bless them to live, as they want.


Would She Ever Know?

We laid her to rest in peace eighteen months ago today
A continuous moment of darkness is with me everyday
All the hurt, fear and pain keep coming to me everyday
My Pretty Lotus has gone and I am home alone all today
Time has flown fast but sorrows have remained with me
I have done many prayers but so far, none would heal me
I know I miss her heaps and no one to dry my eyes for me
My life is a heap of loneliness, hurt and pain glaring at me
I’ll always be waiting for her to return but that’s not to be
I will send a reminder we shall unite again as it used to be
I know that our life on earth is but one brief moment of time
I cool breeze blows to take our soul when it is the right time
A violent breeze blew within my heart to take that life away
The life that was my wife, my angel and my dove flew away
Left behind were my tears, loving memories of many years
A life well spent with joy and love lasting fifty fruitful years
My angel went on heavenly flight, left the light of life to blow
My heart and soul are all weeping but would she ever know?
16th September 2014


You Are Never Gone

I sat beside you when on death’s doorstep you lay
I set my head upon your chest as I bowed to pray

The world to me was shut off the silence was thick
Alone just you and I and your heart’s rhythmic tick

I block out all my pain and loss that my heart feels
I concentrate deeply on the tick your heart reveals

I sit here now all day and hear that old rhythmic sound
I contemplate you gone but the thought seems profound

The time has taken you away to enter the Heaven’s Gate
I will stay here by your side until your journey is complete

It is eighteen months now since you have passed away

Wounds are healing slowly but the pain doesn’t go away

I want so much to hear your voice to see your smiles glow
I hear you in my dreams but your voice hasn’t got that flow

I lay my head upon my pillow when my sorrows are too strong
I hear your heart’s rhythmic tick and know you’re never gone.

 

One Last Kiss

Life was fun and joy when my pretty lotus was with me
Her passing away brought disaster and sorrows for me
I have fought the feelings and emotions that grew inside
They filled and then emptied me like the fast rolling tide
I now get many moments of pain, sorrow and super hate
These have made me to ponder for so many hours of late
I loved my pretty lotus dearly it’s her presence I now miss
I long to be in her company and be blessed for that bliss
The greatest pain of all that hurts me so much and deep
After giving her so much love, I cannot have hers to keep
I long to have her by my side forever and long for more
I know that she cannot feel the same to mutually adore
We shared our hearts and revealed the depth of our soul
I am now feeling hopelessly empty paying this painful toll
I sometimes feel it’s now very selfish for me to feel this way
But I can’t help it if I continue to feel so each and everyday
Aren’t I hoping and praying for the next time we ever meet
I wish my pretty lotus allows me again to feel all complete
My heart has given me assurance I will see her once again
I know it’s not a question of if but a real question of when
When that joyous time comes, I will then be in total bliss
Then there will be any more waiting for that one last kiss.


The Library Of My Fond Memories

I only hope if I was given one moment, just a single slice of my past
I could then hold it tightly forever so that moment would always last

I would like to put those moments in a safe, within my hearts abode
So I could open it when I wanted it and only I would know the code

I could choose a time of laughing and my times of happiness and fun
I could choose a time that thrilled me, through everything I have done

I sat and thought about what moment, would always make me smile
One that would always motivate me and let me to walk that extra mile

If ever I am feeling sad and low, if am struggling with something to do
I could go and open my little safe, and watch all my moments through

There are moments I can think of, that would lift my spirits every time
The moments when I am picked up, when the road was hard to climb

I do not wish to only pick one moment, to cherish, love, save and keep,
Then I know it would prove really difficult, as I have gathered up a heap

I have dug deep inside my heart, found that little safe and looked inside
There was room for lots of moments, in fact it can fit hundreds if I tried

I am now building my own fondest library which is embedded in my heart
It’s for all the moments spent with my beloved wife before she had to part

I know I can open it up whenever I like, pick a moment and review my life
My little library of fond memories acts as a promise, I'll never forget my wife.

 

The Pretty Rose Of My Tray

I am sitting here in my bedroom, looking at her picture.
And wondering why she couldn't be a part of my future
Whenever the uncontrollable tears stream down my face
This is that hard time when my heart beat starts to race
Then I question God why he has taken my wife from my life
It would be less painful if He stabbed me with a sharp knife
I still needed her cos she had not completed her task here
She was the only one who was to make everything so clear
She was my essential part and I remain a part of her forever
When she passed away a part of me went with her together
I never knew that it was so difficult to lose someone you love
But the truth hurt me the day she went to the heaven above
Although I can't see but I know you’re up there watching me
I know you’re keeping your hand of blessing to look after me

I miss you more and more everyday and all I can do is to pray
In my heart you will forever remain the pretty rose of my tray.

 

YOUR RESTING IS MY COMFORT

My Pretty Lotus was so beautiful in all and every way
She was amazingly wonderful I think of her everyday
I miss her so much that it is extremely hard to believe
It’s a pity that I can’t call, text or touch but only grieve
I know that she is no longer here but that is hard to say
I cry a little tear then I remember she is here everyday
Not in sight, sound or touch, I always feel her presence
I feel she’s watching me grieve, she keeps her distance
Both of us knew very well, we were the real soul mate
We also knew that neither of us could change our fate
I will always love her dearly and I promise never to forget
Our love was so deep and honest that it has left no regret
Life is not short for true lovers I have heard it told to me
From the romantic airport my sweetheart has flown free
She is off to a completely new start in a whole new world
But she will always be in my heart all tattered and curled
Now darling give me a big smile even though we are hurt
We live in different worlds but your resting is my comfort
Saroj my sweetheart you were my world, my absolute all
Although my heart has been swirled, I promise never to fall
I dedicate my entire life to you but live my life as you liked
Just help me stroll along even if the future route is all spiked
Many loving lives have been stolen from someone above
Let us keep our promises and live singing our song ‘love dove’.

 

JUST KEEP TELLING ME THAT YOU LOVE ME


Nowadays the feel of the rain no longer brings that happiness to me
The cloudy days and starry nights do not give any more joy for me
All the great gifts of love that you have given me have been shattered
All the tender loving care that you have given me have been guttered
My heart is pounding but there are no more tears in the dry eyes
My life and living are in ruins and I can no longer bid any goodbyes
I know that you are still in my dreams, in my mind and even in my nightmares
I witness your chariot ascend and descend in my life to and from the cloudy upstairs
Any hope of reunion is no more because we have now attained oneness
Our new life and relationship will be unending and we will attain calmness
We are angels and nothing should come between us to disturb us any more
Just keep telling me that you love me and my life on earth will not be a bore. 


Every Tear Is A Token Of My Love

I want to send a lovely card to my beloved wife but address is unknown
O Lord help me locate her and give her the bouquet of roses I have grown
Please tell her she is always in my thoughts and there is where she will stay
The vows we took those years ago still bind us together till this day
When she was taken away from my life and hidden from my daily view
Not only was she taken away from my world but also my heart and soul blew
Although we are separated for a while, our lasting love would never wane
Because we were as one while on this earth and on the other side will again
It is hard to lose the one you love but when you do, your world has gone
But what of the one who is left behind, I feel that I just cannot carry on
Why is it that we cannot go together but one or the other must go first?
It is hard to be the one who goes or stays and this seems to be the worst
Why was she the first one and I am staying here to suffer the headache through?
It is unbearable to bear the loss and watch the loved one grieve for you
I wasn’t given the choice but I regret that it turned out to be her time
It has been very hard to sustain the sorrow but the pain and grief is mine
So until my time on this earth is through and I am ready to join her up above
Every heart beat I miss and every tear I shed has to be the token of my love.

GOODBYE MY FRIEND

She was my love and she was my life
She was my best friend and was my wife
I loved and trusted her with all that I could
She was the woman who completed my mood
She gave all her love and stole my heart
She had me hooked right from the start
Just one fleeting glance into her brown eyes
Made me leave my old life and sever all ties
I fell head over heels in love I can surely say
That was an excellent thing to happen each day
The smile that she gave, the face she used to wear
Revealed her love and proved she knew how to care
Her immaculate image made me proud to lodge
That angel was none other than my beloved Saroj
I can keep trying to honour my love you see
To be the man she always believed I should be
My future is bleak and I am fast getting old
Soon I will be all tired, rundown and cold
I only hope when she calls I can clearly hear
If my pretty lotus wishes to whisper in my ear
I love you dearly and my heart is in two
One half is with me and the other with you
Let us close our eyes sweetie for now is the end
Goodbye, my darling and sweet dreams my friend.

WHERE CAN I FIND YOU ?

The morn was bright the day you left us for good
You took to the sky with your usual happy mood
The wind and cloud whistled through your hair
When your precious soul began dancing in the air
I heard you say your goodbye to all those you love
Your departed soul ran through the clouds up above
That day ended my life but you seem to be content
You may have felt that is where all good ones went
All the loved ones you left behind to mourn and cry
You know none was ready to say the last goodbye
Your presence always filled my life with unique flare
This poor soul has a life that is now all cold and bare
We laid you to rest in peace you looked so pleasant
It was a solemn scene the ones you loved were present
All who who spoke shared memories and stories told
They talked about your life from younger days to old
I am not sure when all our hearts will start to mend
We know it is hard to lose a wife, a mother and a friend
Every day when the new day begins we look at the sky
We raise our heads but we only see some birds that fly
Our nights are darker and the moon does not shine
The clouds are grey and the fogs cover your shrine
The wet mist of my tears is all cold and foreboding
My future is unknown and I am surely corroding
The parrots and birds of our garden sing no more now
The dawn is dull and dark and the sunset is all-dim now
The deeper pain of my emotions knows no end at all
My heart and soul continue to wail, groan and fall
The roses of my garden no longer give off that scent
The perfume of joy you gave me has all been spent
Where has that anticipation gone and where is my life
There is only stark despair when I do not have my wife
Unquenched longing and loneliness are all I expect now
Darkness, sorrows and fears are all my emotions now
Do you not see that my lonely soul is crying out for you?
All is so desolate, all is so cold but where can I find you?

SPECIAL PRESENTATION FOR MY PRETTY LOTUS


It is hard to face the future
When a loved one passes on
It just seems unbearable
To think that they are gone.

And somehow, festivals only serve to magnify that pain
For it should be a special time
But now it is not the same.

Just for a little while my love
We will have to be apart
But always and forever
You shall live in my heart

Grief’s darkest thoughts have faded to a paler shade of grey
Because dear Saroj, I know
We will meet again some day.

 

My Pretty Lotus Resting In Peace


It was only seventy three years ago a pretty princess was born in the Isle of Fiji
She was to become my pretty Lotus and give me all the glory of my life to see
My maiden lived with no other thought than to love and be loved by me
She was born to serve and give her tender loving care to everyone and me

I was a teacher and she was a teacher to blend as one as live in the village of Botini
We loved with a love that was more than love and got married with scrutiny
Our love life was winged to fly the world and enjoy life that was my lotus and me
The reason for all our truth, beauty and goodness in family life was all her tranquillity

When the sun rose, the day went by and the evening came she was always there
To gather the family together and ensure that everything we needed was always there
Our love was much stronger and deeper than the love of all those lovely birds
The angels in heaven above and the lovers on the earth adored us as lovebirds

Our family life went on for ages all smooth and full of ecstasy and glorious time
Strong winds blew, hotter sun came out and it rained and thundered some time
My pretty lotus stood firm and strong for half a century caring for us all
But the cruel storm came out one morning and made my darling fall

Now the day comes and goes but the nights are harder to spend in peace
I no longer long for the moon and the stars because my life is on a short lease
There are dreams that bring my pretty lotus to me to talk and give me some peace
Now I see my darling, my life and my bride travelling to heaven to rest in peace

My life goes on as my beloved had asked me to spend and conduct
My angel is sleeping soundly and I have many duties and tasks to conduct
Let no more storms come and disturb me because I do not want my dreams to end
I do not want to dissever my soul from the soul of my pretty lotus and her end.


Rich Ride of Rama

Read on my dear children and my dear friends and you would appreciate
The rich ride that this farmer’s son made has something good to contribute
On January eighteen, in forty he was laid in a wooden cradle
His parents and guardians are gone but gave him a life to paddle
The grandparents raised him well and told him how to conduct his march
His parents handed him great light and might on his head as an arch
His village home was his castle and his farm was his childhood school
He got ready to play with rural friends to swim in the river but no pool
Formative learning at a village school with local teachers bright and smart
This prepared him for the best high school and gave him a head start
Teachers from abroad instilled in him a love of books and a bit of creative art
Outdoor life and physical fitness were his hobbies that made him so smart

From Shakespeare, Tennyson, Blake and Keats came some of his literary talents
Dickens, Bronte` sisters, R L Stevenson and Orwell gave him the needed patents
Early to rise to do the farm chores and catch a daily bus to school suited him
Late to bed after his hard studies and some more home work also suited him
Fishing taught him the love of outdoor life and a lot of practical patience
Drama on the village and school stages gradually led him to real existence
All the journeys to the Sleeping Giant and the Pacific Ocean were reflections
That magnified the life that his elders and friends had for his recollections
Indoctrination somewhat complete he gained an entry into a tertiary institution
All the dreams of his elders realized when he became a teacher after graduation
While at the college he met his dream girl and confessed his love silently
As a test of maturity, she let him depart to do some rural teaching distantly
A year or two rolled by and their unconditional love matured very distinctly
Multiple contacts in the form of love letters and phone calls came intermittently

 

Their love grew fonder with the distance and separation that kept them apart
But their fate brought them together because they could not remain apart
The love doves got married and established a family life and home that lasted
Their work life strengthened and peace, progress and prosperity got plastered
They became the masters of their destination and planned a perfect family life
The journey of the family became fruitful with only a few strife in their life
Brisk wielder of the birch and rule he was the master of the village school
Success came rolling to him because he gathered his knowledge pool
Many promotions came to him and he was awarded a prestigious scholarship
He tuned his intelligent switch and attained a few quality professional membership
Together they served and moved from town to town gaining techniques and tacts
He gained the power to play the right games and deal with all the needed facts
Two sons and two daughters became the most valuable treasures of their life
All hopes, strengths and efforts were bestowed on raising the children well
Time moved on and their treasurers began to move with great swell
The ladder of their life was hard because there was no escalator to take the stroll
Each step on the trembling ladder took them steep and tall to the highest window of the wall
There was no time to pause and listen or to look down but to keep moving
This was the motivation of the angel, his wife who led him to the top roofing
They reigned well and with joy on top of the roof of their long fruitful life
An ambitious expedition was planned to live forever as husband and wife
Wrapped in their own world in silence, so deep, contended and still in love
They almost made a golden journey of married life that ended their move
When his pretty lotus was laid to rest in peace in the Centennial Memorial Gardens one day
His heart and soul cried so heavily that no one had seen such a sorrowful event any day
He accompanied his angel and rode with her soul on the final journey as she wanted
The talk of us two during that lonely ride can never be described and counted
One life ended and one life destroyed and his grieving heart and soul all shattered
Creeping along from room to room in his lonely home has all that now mattered

 

The lovely life and peaceful journey of the past is now his dread, pain and grief
For suddenly his life has come to an abrupt end and now seems to be very brief
When would the storm and rain of tears in the eye dry up and the river of sorrow flood?
When would these black clouds of loneliness move away and stop to brood?
He is impatiently waiting to mount and ride that life with his pretty lotus once again
But he is all booted and spurred and they resides on the opposite shores of the world again
The brilliant journey that began on a steed full of valour and great enthusiasm
Has reached the end and turned the tide out to end the ride that has no fascination
For he is now all lonely and spectral and sombre and still but has not lost hope
Alas as he looks to the empty sky above there is no glimmer and no light of hope
And yet deep down his hearty eagerness he wants a reunion impossible that it may seem
He wants to rekindle his love and light the same flame that once was his beam
His wife, his life and his inspiration has vacated his village of lustre and love
Now he sits all alone in the sandy desert of his home that cannot be his cove

 

He goes to bed to sleep but his slumber dwindles away till the crowing of the cocks
He wakes up all drowsy although the birds and the dogs tell him the time of his clocks
The home that was bubbling with her vibrancy once is now all blank and bare
There is nothing to rejoice or even to gaze at the pretty face that once used to glare
All the melodious music and the sweet twitter of the birds among the trees mean nothing
The best of the food and the sweetest drinks give him tastes that feel nothing
So this life of Lakhan has had a good ride until his pretty lotus was his soul mate
Now that she has gone to rest in peace, there’s no life in the village, the farm or the state
The days begin, the nights go by but the sorrow, pain and grief all gather on the floor
To bring the darker clouds of fear, voice of the unknown and a knock on the door
All the fond memories come out to parade and her sweet voices echo evermore
Despite the genuine efforts of the loved ones to heal, Lakhan cannot live anymore
A silent cry, some warm tears and a broken heart is all that is left to measure
But Lakhan has created a collection of the fond memorial of his Pretty Lotus to treasure

 

This is a therapeutic treasury of the life that began some fifty-five years ago
When tomorrow starts without her he wants to feel she is in his heart all aglow
Everyday that passes by in grief he feels that he loves his pretty lotus a lot more
If they get another chance to live their love life, it’s assured that he would love her more
Strength, dignity, warmth and good clothing were her garment of humanity
She opened her mind to wisdom and the law of kindness in her vicinity
Lakhan’s Saroj looked well at all times and managed her household well
Why wouldn’t such a brilliant maiden forever be remembered and in heart dwell?
Her children and grand children rise up and call her many times blessed
Her husband has always praised her saying ‘My Pretty Lotus was truly blessed.”
Having read this my children and my dear friends now you can all appreciate
The ride that this farmer’s son made in his lifetime is something good to colebrate.

-Ram Lakhan Prasad, 15th August 2014.

 

KEEP HER CLOSE

You are now old and feeble Lakhan, your head is getting bald, and hair is gray
You know you have reached your use by date and are not fit for pulling a dray
Time has flown and so has your youth your limbs are now very supple
Your eyes are getting weaker and you have begun to see things in double
Life was better on the farm when you were jumping up and down the gully
Life became a bore when you stopped the physical work fully
All the shortcomings were well managed when you had your lovely wife around
She has now departed for good your peace and potency cannot be found
Your wife was your life so strong in mind, body and all her disposition
Wake up old man revive your old habits and try to change your position
Peace and order in old age come with love, care and discipline that she held
Give her the honour and do not let any tears fall keep them all withheld
Let the pretty lotus enjoy her slumber no matter what season comes and goes
You mind your own business and do what is needed to keep her close.


My Fairy Comes To Anoint Me


When I light a lamp in the evening to give me some light and might
It brings in those fond memories when we used to talk about our plight
All the lights in the home seem dull and dark even if they are switched on
The dancing stars and twinkling moon are no more romantic to follow on
There is a reason for all these sorrows and pains in the life of a man like me
When I was good I was very good but now there is no one as depressed as me
If things have happened and my home is all-lonely the fault dear rose is only mine
I let you down and could not care for you enough so you are not able to shine
When you were around, my world was peopled with prince and princesses
Now my heart is all broken ready to hear the sad voices and distresses
There are many a quiet night when in my disturbed slumber and deep dream
My pretty lotus descends from the heaven above to feed me with ice cream
With a blushing grace I fall upon my knee and conduct a silent prayer daily
A little tender maiden comes in my dreams to anoint me like a real fairy.

SHE IS ALL SO DEAR


Cry old man, do cry; but do not wipe your eyes
Shedding tears of sorrow is good for all big guys
Now that you are alone and lonely go and try
Some games in the paddock and don’t be shy
Look at all the freedom that the animals enjoy
Their honks, kicks and the prance give us joy
My pretty lotus is not but her wisdom is here
Let me share her words that became so clear
Life is such that an open foe is our real curse
If you meet one, a pretended friend is worse
Keep your conscience always clear my love
You’d never need to have any fear my love
I know that quarrels would never last long
If you put on one side, all who are wrong
A slip of the foot you can soon recover, love
A slip of the tongue is hard to get over, love
I will reform tomorrow, the stupid would say
It’s too late because I reform myself every day
Never hide your talents use them to serve all
Never hurt anybody because it makes you fall
Never look for a revenge to get even with others
Forgiving it sets you higher above all the others
That is why I cry and cry but now I wipe my eyes
I know shedding tears is not good for all big guys
I am no longer alone for her thoughts are here
I treasure her fond memories she is all so dear.


NO MORE WORDS


My writing a poem a week for the last eighteen months
Was not an easy creativity but I managed to keep my counts
If ever I am born again I want to continue from where I left
My life would bloom again there should be no sorrows left
For my wife will be with me again I should get my joy
This thinking may be wishful but it gives my heart that joy
We will be united in love and live our family life once again
Then my Pretty Lotus will recreate all and I will have no pain.


My Final Words


This creativity was like stirring living embers when at seventy-five I tried to remember
My life and living were all full of flavour from my village to my present chamber
For many my words may seem just ashes but to me they’re burning coal
I have lived this presentable life myself each day and thus spoke my soul
Now a deadly chill comes over me as the last days of life loom before me
A thousand hearts lay bleeding on the pavement of this memorial yard you see
The hearts that were bubbling with joy and peace with fond memories
Now they are weeping and lamenting all the present with many worries
The pigeons and the birds that were singing the song of love with pleasure
They are swinging on the branches of dry trees because they have lost a treasure
This short life is now wasted after the bitter taste of her sudden departure
My head and heart are now almost splitting with this unbearable torture
Like a gentleman of doom I am strolling out without any pleasure
I am desperately looking for my pretty lotus and her heavenly composure.


My Pretty Lotus- My Beauty Queen

What a pretty face, what shining eyes, romance is spilling from those lovely eyes my love
God Almighty must have worked overtime to construct your beautiful structure my love
The night comes when your sight descends and it becomes morn when it opens again my love
When you display your mystic smile, flowers bloom and the fairies feel ashamed upon your beauty my love
Your lovely curly hair and your sweet smelling breadth are making me your lover for ever my love
Your peacock like melodious voice and your honey-coated words are mesmerizing me my love
I feel like staying next to you forever, keep admiring that pretty face, and attire my love
There are many pretty faces but none come as close as you in charm and beauty my love
Your colourful presentation and your tantalizing construction give me the greatest of love
The queen of beauty, resembling the prettiest fairy, you are all that I imagined in you I found my love
Just keep looking at me so that I get your charm and glory ingrained in my heart and soul my love
On your one loving gesture, I could be intoxicated with romantic influence for my entire life my love.

My Last Prayer

O God, do not hold your miracles any more for me
Make my heart of gold and let peace be with me
While I stumble among the difficult paths of this world
Grant me the solace of some guiding star that is very bold
You know that for every evil there is a remedy to be found
Let me seek till I find it but I do not mind if it is not found
I know some things I must learn to do in my loneliness
Let me think clearly without confusion to get rid of wilderness
Let me love my fellow beings sincerely with motives that are pure
Let me increase my trust in You to make my life all secure.
If I know not, and know not that I know not, I am a fool, please shun me
If I know not, and I know that I know not, I am a child, please teach me
If I know, and I know not that I know, I am asleep, please wake me
If I know, and know that I know, I am wise, so let others follow me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PYAAR KA PAHELA KHAT

PYAAR KA PAHELA KHAT

Jab pyaar ka pahela khat likha toh bahut waqt laga tha

Jayse naye parindon ko udney mein kuchh waqt laga tha

Kewal paaney ki baat nahi thi unko, unke jigar tak jaana tha

Iss lambi doori ko tay karne mein hamko bahut waqt laga tha

Dar tha ki gaanth na lag jaye ek pawitr rishta banana tha

Iss rishte ko sajaane mein premi ko bahut waqt lagta tha

Rishte ban gaye jindgi chalti rahi bada aanand aataa tha

Meri mehbooba jab chal basi toh mujhko bahut dard hua tha

Apne jakhmi dil ki ilaaz ko dhoondhne mein bahut waqt laga tha

Mere gahare jakhmo ko bharne mein bahut waqt laga tha

Ab Lakhan apne Saroj ke madhur yaadon pe jeer aha hai

Unke har ek sunahare baaton ko yaad kar ke aage chalta hai